Emotions, Leadership, and Odd Stuff

The days are short, but oh so long.  The time spent complaining fills a bucket.  The point when good looks evil, the problems begin.  There’s just days when it’s so hard to add two plus two together.  Emotions lie but tell the truth.  They aren’t always lying, but they aren’t always telling the truth either.

God’s timing is perfect.  God is perfect.  God is the author and finisher of our faith.  He loves us and molds us and makes us into his image.  After years and years of knowledge, when does the knowledge become the religious?

Why aren’t anyone passionate?  Why is everyone fine with complacancy?  Is it because it means that sin can still run rampent (in some circles, anyway)?  Or is it just because it just means we never have to step out of our comfort zones?  I don’t know.  One thing I love about my church is this: the people there are passionate.  The core of my church, I can actually see in my mind passionately seeking God at every time during the day.

I love the night.  The night is when I can really connect with God in prayer and worship.  It’s so hard to do at 8 o’clock.  It’s so very hard.  I’ve not been able to figure that out.  It’s just how I’m wired.  I think there’s a lot of college aged people that fit into this category though … it’s just the church doesn’t (for the most part) do anything, so it’s used for drinking, sex, and drugs.

I have a passion for …

• those who feel hopeless.
• those who feel like no one is there for them.
• those that don’t know where else to go, or who to turn to.
• those who are broken (emotionally, spiritually, physically).

I suppose that’s just a small list, but I want to help these people.  I love helping people.  That’s what my “job” essentially is: helping people.

I want to see people whom are passionate about prayer and fasting — who we can all help push each other in.  I don’t want to lead.  Maybe I’m called to lead though.  I think why I don’t want to lead is because I’m so young, look even younger, and am quite (shy? maybe).  I just don’t have much vision of how to run things, though.  Or maybe I do, but I don’t want to jump head first in it.

That said: my passion right now would be to have a weekly corporate prayer time (not once a month, or year, but weekly) between midnight and 2am (or longer, depending on where God leads).

The basic problem with this is this: will ANYONE else catch this vision?  Will there be anyone (besides me) who would like to do this (or even maybe not, but wouldn’t mind doing it just out of love for God and the people of this city)?  Personally, I loved being challenged by others to press deeper into God — ie: fasting.  Even if it were just two or three people.  With fasting it’s hard to challenge myself.

Either way, I’m letting it be known … if I’m supposed to lead, I’ll lead.  I just want a vision, the words (please?), or something so I can move from point A to point B.  Doesn’t matter if it’s bumpy, just matters that it works — and more importantly: if lives are changed.