Tired

I’ve had pretty good day. I’ve been restarting the website I started about six months or so ago, Revolution Reality. I hope to keep it going this time, and I hope it grows into something more than just a basic website.

I watched another movie tonight, this time it was The Bourne Supremacy. I already watched it on the big screen, but it came on Starz so I watched it again. It’s a pretty good movie.

Tomorrow is work. I’m suppose to be moving to the Circle Team, so I might actually be doing something … although I might not. Either way, I’m not complaining. I enjoy working there.

There are so many things on my mind and heart right now it’s almost overwhelming. I have no idea what to say, how to say it, what to do, nor how to do it. It’s like bleh. I’m tired of just sitting here following the flow. There comes a time when I’m just so tired of “ho-hum” and I want to go and just do everything I’m called to do. That’s the problem though: what am I suppose to be doing? I’ve asked God with no reply. Maybe my reply is just following on the path I’m going now. I’ve been listening lately, and it’s like even some Christians are against the God I love. I may be called to be a Jeremiah (as in the Biblical one). There are times I see people and just have compassion for them.

There have been times lately that I don’t know if I even want to go to college for computer science anymore. I believe I am suppose to, as I believe I’m going to be used in that area one day, but I really would like to pursue God and follow Him. I’m so confused as to what I’m suppose to do right now. Really I’ve just realized that as I’ve been writing this. I hope God opens a door for something soon. Right now if God called me to go somewhere, even away from home, I would go. This is the first time I’ve actually had that feeling. I don’t want to leave home, but maybe that’s what God wants me to do. Maybe I’m in the areas I am now so I can step out of certain comfort zones that are keeping me bound. I know I’ve totally had to step out of several comfort zones in the past 3 weeks that just one year ago I thought I never could do.

Right now I’m ready to just run. There’s a song by Nichole Nordeman called What If:

What if you jump?
And just close your eyes?
What if the arms that catch you, catch you by surprise?
What if He’s more than enough?
What if it’s love?

The song isn’t exactly in the context I’m using it, but right now I just want to jump and not even worry about anything. Just jump.

I believe I’m going to listen to something from New Life, and then get in the bed, so I’m out.