How Much

I went to bed last night at around 2:00AM, so when I got up this morning I was very tired. I probably took a nap today at around 3:00 or so, and got up at around 5:40 or so. Now I’m not incredibly tired, but I probably should get in the bed now either way, but that’s beyond the point.

I listened to a teaching from New Life Church tonight, and a question was asked to this effect: do you want to get rid of all sin in your life, even if it means getting rid of everything you currently enjoy (even stepping outside of your comfort zone)? That can be a difficult question for some people, even myself. Do I have a “pet” sin in my life that I keep to myself and maybe don’t even realize it’s there? If I do, will I be willing to clean it out right away, or will I hold on to it because it’s something I consider “natural”. I know in the past I’ve found things I’ve held on to, and didn’t want to get rid of. Some of these took more than a few minutes to get rid of. I’ll explain one now.

I like music, I really enjoy it. It costs money though. I used to download it all the time (illegaly), but I’ve since been convicted of it — probably about 4 or 5 years ago, actually. I remember seeing it as being very wrong, but I used reasons to justify it (don’t we all use excuses to justify sin). I had tons and tons of music. I would spend hours and hours just downloading anything I could find. When I got rid of it, it wasn’t the easiest thing I’d ever done, but I felt better about it. I got rid of everything I had (except the CD’s I had bought and ripped for my own personal use). I’ve probably not used any P2P file sharing application in about a year now, although it has appeared on my network and I promptly removed it and blocked it. Recently I’ve been convicted of copying other materials, and I’ve had to get rid of them. It’s not the easiest thing, but it’s the legal thing. I now pay for everything I get. If I don’t have the money — I don’t get it. I’m not going to do the “I’ll buy it when I have the money”, we all know that we’ll never actually buy the CD, we’re just using it as an excuse. I, normally, use iTunes to buy my music, although I’ve also used Wal-Mart downloads and, which are two fine places. There are tons of artists websites that have free music downloads. I have a little over 3,000 tunes — all legal.

I use that to show a sin I was holding onto and didn’t want to let go of. There are other things I’ve had to let go of, and not all of the time is it easy to let go of. Getting back to the question: I want to get rid of anything, no matter what the cost to me. Some things might not can be brought up (or can be seen) unless I get into deep prayer and fasting, but that’s little when it comes to knowing Christ. Christ wants us to not have any hint of impurity in our lives, it can get between us and God. I want to see this generation on their faces before God crying and screaming out to God. God is our only hope.