Further From Myself

Ok, so it’s been a few days since my last post. I know everyones just dying to know what’s been going on in the wild and exciting life of Justin ….. who just sits at his computer all day. Well, these past few days have been really just to put it lightly, not the best. The past week I’ve felt like a zombie going here and there, just following the motions of everyday’dom, not really doing anything new. Sometimes I just take a step back and see where I wish I was and it sets me back a little. I want so much to be everything God has called me to be, yet it’s like I’m just sitting here idle accomplishing nothing, and when I want to accomplish something I don’t take the initiative and go for it. Life’s not bad, I really have nothing to complain about. Yet and so, there’s this part of me that feels like it’s dying. That’s not what scares me though … what scares me is what if it’s true. I’m not quite sure how to explain it. It’s like a “dry” time, but it’s not dry. It’s like a war but it didn’t just start. I just can’t explain and put to words exactly what’s going through my head right now at the present.

I so much want to be further from myself. However, it seems like sometimes the further I am from myself, the further I am from people. That can be good sometimes. Not all the time though. Something I need to work on is being more optimistic. I’m pessemistic so many times on so many things. I didn’t used to be that way though. I really don’t know why I am now.

Moving on to another topic … Age of Empires III. I downloaded the demo today, and what can I say? It’s the best game I’ve played in quite a while … quite a while. It’s going to be $50 when it comes out though, so that might just deter me from buying it right away. However, the demo made it look extremely well made.

There’s nothing much more to say for the night …