Huh? What?

Today began with shoes clanking up and down the stairs. It wasn’t that bad, I just didn’t want to get woke up so early (it was 9:30 or so). Once I got up, though, I found I wasn’t that tired — even if I went to bed at 2am. I finished my math final (the take home part). It took me quite a while to finish it. I bought a new domain today — JustinOsborne.com — it’s not that important, though.

Our pastor and his wife came over tonight for dinner.

I have ideas about all sort of things, and I’m loaded with my thoughts right now. I may just be totally random. ChristianRock.net is doing a promotion (the first one since I’ve listened). They’re giving away an iPod Nano and some CD’s and stuff. Interesting …

I’m not sure what I’m supposed to do now and later in my life. It’s like everything is so quite, like I’m walking through life without direction sometimes. I mean, I have direction, but it’s not a roadmap. It’s like a foggy road that you can only see the next little streach of road. Maybe I know what I’m supposed to do. I have this little test thing I took a while ago (like 4 years ago now) that says what I appeared to be gifted in and such … and it says this: “Your primary motivational gift is: TEACHING; Your secondary motivational gifts are: PERCEPTION and ADMINISTRATION”. Teaching and Administration is pretty straight forward. Perception, though, says that “… have a strong inner prompting and ability to perceive what is right vs. wrong …” and “… are willing to terminate existing relationships to remain loyal to truth”. This also has a thing that says areas I may be good at in the church; the top four being, “Administrative Board Chairman” (70%), Leadership Roles (68%), Intercessor (68%), and Teen Group Director (64%). The “secular” roles are: electrical work (87%), computer programmer (84%), Philosopher (80%), and “Quality Control/Inspector” (75%). There are several more pages in the report. What’s scary is this thing seems to know me like a book.

This “report”, of course, isn’t meant to be “you must do this” or anything and isn’t supposed to be “hard” evidence. The report is, however, very accurate. The top two secular roles that were listed were just what I like to do. The church one, though, I haven’t studied much. I actually didn’t know what was on it. Mrs. Jennifer, the pastors wife, said something about getting me to talk (hehe) and then said I might be a preacher (or something like that), just joking of course. I simply said that I’m not denying it. For the past few months (and years?) I’ve been wanting to go into youth ministry (#4). While not a “preacher” per-se, I do want to help youth. I do think I’ll probably end up teaching from time to time (if not full), though. I’ll have to trust God a ton there … I mean, I don’t even talk now. I’ve complained for so long about looking 14, but I’ve also thought … when I’m 30, I’ll look 17 or so. So hey, it’ll be all good. But I’ve also been thinking over the past month or two … maybe there’s another reason. My previous youth pastor didn’t look his age. Hmm …

I’m stumbling over words, and probably none of that makes sense. It makes sense to me before I write it, but it’s coming out all wrong. So I’m changing thought.

I finished reading 1st Kings today. Yet another very, very interesting book. I learned a lot from just sitting down and spending the time to read several chapters at a time. Tons of good stuff in those books. Very interesting too.

So, it’s 1 AM. I think I’m heading off to bed.