I’ve been looking at getting a new computer this year. I’m not totally sure I’ll be able to get it yet because of monetary reasons. I should have enough for college, cell phone, and gas and a little left over to use however I want to. I want to keep a fair amount stored away because of anything I may need it for (ie: the clutch in my car needing replacing). I still want to get something going in helping someone. I’m still thinking of sponsoring a child; however, I don’t want to commit and then find something else I want to contribute to that’s closer to home. It’s not an excuse for waiting, I would rather focus on my community first before hand.
I’ve got a few more minutes left on the last message in the “Living In Graceland” series from theMill. In the last one Aaron Stern talks about helping the needy. I want to help them. I would really love to focus on my age group (which is fast approaching: “used to be my age group”).
There was an entry I added, ironically, a year ago tomorrow. I wasn’t even aware that it was the “anniversary” of the post, but either way — I was going to talk about. In brief, the post is about who I’m looking for in a future wife. Recently, I’ve just about grown to the point where I’m not sure it can be met — and others around me have told me the same. So I’m keeping the list until September 15th, 2006 — unless something changes. That’s a full month. If nothing has changed from now and then, I’m changing it. Some of the things that I feel are essential for me to connect to whomever I date (and hope-to marry), are the things I’ll probably reform or remove.
Of the items on my list that’ll be changed is music. Why did I add music in the first place? It all comes down to this: garbage in, garbage out. I want a pure relationship. I can’t relate to music that has ungodly content. I mean, the music doesn’t have to have plain out “wrong” lyrics. Even if they’re about just relationships, I don’t relate to most. Does that mean I specify all secular music as “wrong”? Of course not, I like a few (key word: few) secular groups. They’re not on my media library, though. I don’t listen to them in the car. I just don’t have enough time to listen to Christian music and secular to see what I like and don’t like and worry about the lyrics. This is just one of the few things I’ll change.
A few days ago I felt like just striking out most of the entry, but have decided just in the past hour or so to wait. If I get rid of some of the constraints, I may find someone whom I like. I suppose I could talk about it all day, but right now it’s not going to change anything.
All I’m going to do now is pray and hope for the best. I’ve prayed that if I’m living in legalism, or my list is legalistic, that it’ll be revealed to me. I want to be real with people, but I also have deep convictions. I try to be as real with people as I can.
I’m enjoying work this year. The air conditioner doesn’t work in our office, but that’s life. Last year I complained of it being too cold. So I shouldn’t complain, I guess.
I’m ready for school to start … I think. Next week is going to be different. I’ll probably go eat lunch at least one day out of the year. Maybe I can see some people in class and sit with them at lunch. Meeting people is horrible though. Especially if you don’t have anything in common …
New things, they come in time …
Justin, I am proud of you and even your strong convictions! I would councel you to look at your list another way–don’t look at it as the young lady nessisarily meets all the requirements per say but look at it as is she growing towards what you are looking for? For example, if she hasn’t had leadership in her home or church environment but is committed to the LORD with her whole heart she may just need leadership. That’s why it is important to trust the LORD for guidance. Lisa Bevere wasn’t even a Christian when John asked her out but GOD knew who Lisa could be with the right leadership. On another note, if we are always around light (Christians) how can we be the light in the darkness. Instead of seeing the wrong or the sins I think we need to say instead LORD how can I be light to that person? Or LORD use me to be light to that person. We can even be light to other Christians. Other Christians can be light to us as well.We should all be learning from each other. Don’t be so hard on yourself! I am praying for freedom for you!!!