Days to skip, days to skip … today was one of those days. I’m not sure what lead to the day being just generally a bad day, maybe it was the pure boredom, the cold (so very cold), or the fact that I can’t keep being an intern after I start school. I was bored most of the day at work. Then there was the cold, which has to be around 55 or 60 degrees where I sit (right under a vent). I was hoping to keep working after school started as an intern, but I found out today that I cannot. Maybe that’s good though. Over the past two weeks or so I’ve been so confused as to what I should do with everything. I’m thinking of just going for an associates degree now, and just get certified in stuff for now. I’m not sure if that’s the way to go though. In the future, not very distant, I would like to get a major in youth, specifically reaching the youth (youth pastor, purhaps).
Then there are other things. I want to go to something like Twenty Four Seven or Masters Commission, even, purhaps, YWAM … but where can I do these? I’d have to relocate for Twenty Four Seven (not sure about the other two), and I wouldn’t have money for that. I’m horrible at meeting new people, being in a place alone where I know no one.
Right now it’s like I’m torn between so many things. On top of all of these things is the fact that I want to move back to Colorado Springs (one day). I really (really) would like God’s guidance on all of these things, but I’m not getting it. I don’t know what I’m suppose to do. If I’m suppose to stay here until the day that I die, I will. I do think I am meant to be here now (as to why, I haven’t a clue). On the way home my dad asked me what I wanted to do and all, and I just told him I didn’t know: because I don’t. I wish I knew just the next two days what I’m suppose to do, but I don’t.
Tonight we had a “family discussion” on church. Basically they wanted to know where we wanted to go to church. Again, I haven’t really a clue. I told them that I’ll probably keep going to the one I’m currently going to and also go to the one we went to Sunday night. The church we went to Sunday night appears to have a vision. Their vision is what really was what made me actually excited. They’re the only church around here that I’ve actualy saw, clearly stated, what they’re mission was. I literally had a smile on my face when I saw it when I walked in the door. When I saw the prayer wall it reminded me so much of something I believe I would have saw in Colorado Springs early days (Colorado Springs used to be a major hub for witches — then the prayer came). I have prior commitments to my old church, and I’m going to fulfill those, and hopefully, maybe, the church will grow from 60+ to a church with teenagers — a live giving church. If I get involved with the other church I will hope the same. Both will generally have a diffrent target audiance since their in two vastly diffrent locations though (which is kind of ironic, maybe).
That’s the rundown on my life for now. I’ve got to hit the bed.