A Love Letter

Jesus. The name above all other names. The man I claim to be Lord of my life, yet I run so far away so many times and would deny him and sin. He died on a cross for me, in a death I would hope to never know. He died before I even called him Lord. He died before I ever loved him or even recognized him. He loved me! He still loves me today. He has shown me his love daily simply by giving me the twenty-four hours I have each and every day. In a second he could turn his back on me and I’d be obliterated. Yet he loves me. This man who did nothing wrong loves me. For all the things that I’ve done wrong, He loves me. He’s given me talents and abilities that I would have never been able to excersise in the way they are used today had it not been for this man. He created the world in seven days. He is great, greater than any king or heir of this world. The nations will bow at his feet and give him glory. There are days when I see all of the worries and cares of this world and feel it’s too much, yet Jesus is right there. He loves me not because he has to, but because he wants to. He likes me. He’s not like a friend of any sort that I have on earth. If you say something against a friend on earth they may disown you, but God isn’t like that. I’ve hurt him countless times, yet he loves me. He doesn’t just passively loves me like the world loves either. He really loves me. He knew when I would sin and died so that I could have life with him, in his presence.

Sometimes it’s so easy — esspecially for me — to love someone I’ve never even saw. Someone who at times feels a million miles away. Sometimes God feels closer than my skin, sometimes he seems further than the moon. But God, I love you. This is your love letter. I’ve saw the things of this world and I’m sorry I got involved. I’m sorry for the times when I look around and just want to give up instead of looking to the one who loves me unconditionally. Jesus, you give me the strength to make it through some days when I’m feeling the entire world is against me. There’s something deep inside that keeps my faith alive. Sometimes no matter where I look it seems all I see is people that want nothing more than to hate you God. Yet at the same time, I don’t stand up and show those people your love and show them who you really are and that you love them so much. God, I want to be a man after your own heart. There are times when I know there are things are wrong, but I just don’t give them to you. God, each and every day I need to make you front and center, not someone or something else. You are God. Jesus, I don’t want to be prideful or boastful or haughty, I want to be the exact opposite of those. I want to show others the fruits of your Spirit God — love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, gentleness, goodness, and self-control. God I want to walk with you in the way I would walk with a friend. I want to talk to you the way I talk to my very best friend. God, you know my heart — you know everything about my heart. You know my next words, and what I said six years ago that hurt you, you also know those words I said six years ago that invited you into my heart. I didn’t have to say a prayer, I didn’t have to repeat something else, you already knew me. You changed my heart in ways that were jaw dropping. God, this is the only thing that can be used to describe what has happened since then:

Tell me the things that I need to keep my heart
From breaking clean
Leave me with numbness and watch me lock
Myself in a disbelief
Where does this movement come from, I’m holding on so desperately
This love is so intricate it leaves me taking

There were so many things that I didn’t know was holding me back from you. All I said that night was “I love Jesus”. And you took my heart. You took every peice of me and broke chains of bondage and everything ungodly out of my heart. Some things took longer than others, but in all my heart changed. I wasn’t the same anymore. God, all I want to do now is thank you. Thank you Jesus for taking my hurts, my hate, my anger, my obsessions, my sin, my lust, my bitterness, my pride, my self-indulgence, and my chains. Thank you for not looking at me and saying that you don’t want me. Thank you Jesus for doing the ultimate. For saying, 2,000 years ago that there was someone that you loved and that you couldn’t live without him and you’d rather die a painful sinners death — the death I deserved — just to be with me. You swam the ocean for me, you bridged the gap I could never repay for my sinful self. Jesus, I want to focus on you and never take my eyes off of you. I want you to be my one true love. You are my one true love, your voice God is what I seek, I love you. When I wake up each and every morning, I want your face to be all I seek. Jesus I love you, and this is your love letter.