Category: Personal

Personal posts to me

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Randomness

The summers now over, and classes have started back.  Most of my classes have been okay so far.  There are two classes I am definitely not very excited about right now, but hopefully they will end better than they are beginning.  Business law is one of those class that I could sit through all day, while classes like communication I could rather just not even go to them.  Most of my classes I see as at least a little bit of value for the time and money — but communication class just isn’t one of those classes.  Like I said, I hope it gets better towards the end.

I worked the entire summer, which was great for many reasons.  This year was quite possibly the best summer I have had working over there.  I worked in one spot the entire time, where there were a few mix-ups of staff, so I was able to actually do things that mattered.

A little over a year ago, I started talking to Katharine.  On August 13th we went to a movie, and we’ve met up a few more times over the last two weeks.  We went to the lake this past Saturday and watched a movie — pretty much just made a whole day of getting to better know each other.

That’s all I have for now!

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Why Did the Nations Rage?

I read Psalm 2 tonight, and then it was crossed referenced with Acts 4:23:31. Using the NKJV this time.

And being let go, they went to their own companions and reported all that the chief priests and elders had said to them. So when they heard that, they raised their voice to God with one accord and said: “Lord, You are God, who made heaven and earth and the sea, and all that is in them, who by the mouth of Your servant David have said:

‘Why did the nations rage,
And the people plot vain things?
The kings of the earth took their stand,
And the rulers were gathered together
Against the LORD and against His Christ.’

“For truly against Your holy Servant Jesus, whom You anointed, both Herod and Pontius Pilate, with the Gentiles and the people of Israel, were gathered together to do whatever Your hand and Your purpose determined before to be done. Now, Lord, look on their threats, and grant to Your servants that with all boldness they may speak Your word, by stretching out Your hand to heal, and that signs and wonders may be done through the name of Your holy Servant Jesus.”
And when they had prayed, the place where they were assembled together was shaken; and they were all filled with the Holy Spirit, and they spoke the word of God with boldness.

The Amplified says, “And when they had prayed, the place in which they were assembled was shaken; and they were all filled with the Holy Spirit, and they continued to speak the Word of God with freedom and boldness and courage.” Earlier in the prayer it says with full freedom to declare God’s message. That is what I want, full freedom and boldness. Christ has called us to proclaim His name, and spread his love and glory everywhere. There are those in other countries literally laying down their lives, and we’re often times too scared about what a classmate or coworker may say if we proclaim Jesus name. We have to become knowledgeable about the things of God — ignorance is no excuse, especially since we have the Word of God.

We need a passionate army for Christ.

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Five Months Too Short

It has been a short five months since this semester began, and now it is about time to move on. I have decided to take a summer class the year after work. I have two more finals tomorrow, and then I start work on Thursday. It was a good semester, and not as difficult as the last. Many good things have changed in these last five months though.

I have been going fishing this year. I have been reading more books this year. I have been drinking more water lately. Lately, I have been eating less chocolate (partly because I forget until late at night). I have been learning that some opinions are better kept silent, while others may be better voiced – though most people think I am “normally” silent anyway. I have been doing more things that are random. I have been thinking more positive. With all that, I am still learning.

I think all of what I have really been learning can all boil down to one thing and that’s trusting God no matter what.

In a final quick closing, I rewrote the entire backend for MinistryTalk.com and added a few more features. I opened the new site up to the public yesterday, and I think it will greatly help the churches involved. Anyway, I have a book I started several weeks ago that I should start trying to finish …

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What am I Learning?

I am thankful, so thankful, that God runs after me; that he pursues me with his love!  I know only a small miniscule amount of his immense love for me. If I fully could understand and comprehend it, it would be too great for me to stand. I think one of the more noticeable things that God is teaching me, is just how he loves me. Recently I read “When Heaven Weeps”, and it spoke to me more than I could have possibly imagined about how great His love really is. It has been a week since I finished the book now, and I am still trying to comprehend everything that was conveyed in the book. Along with that, I have heard sermons on the same subject. This isn’t all I have been learning, though.

Are you amazed? Am I amazed, that was the question on Easter. Are you amazed? I am amazed at God’s greatness, at his creation, at his majestic show of beauty. I look at his beautiful creation and I just give God thanks and praise. He shows his holiness through His creation. It is greater than I can even comprehend.

I’ve fallen in love with Psalm 19, which is broken up into three specific parts. My Bible’s notes say the following (which sums it up better than I can put it):

As God reveals himself through nature (19:1-6), we learn about his power and our finiteness. As God reveals himself through Scripture (19:7-11), we learn about his holiness and our sinfulness. As God reveals himself through daily experiences (19:12-14), we learn about his gracious forgiveness that frees us from guilt. (Life Application Study Bible NLT, Psalm 19 note)

I’ve committed myself to memorizing Psalm 19. The last verse (19:14) is my prayer, “May the words of my mouth, and the meditations of my heart / be pleasing to you, Oh Lord my rock and my redeemer”. Or, as the Amplified says: “my firm, impenetrable rock and my redeemer”. So to borrow from Sunday, are you amazed?

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The Love Letter

There was a dimly lit light that made reading difficult, but manageable. It had been two months since it happened. How long must life go on like this? Alone. You’re completely alone. There had been a time of joy, but that was before it happened. It was a struggle now. A lonely struggle. He knows he isn’t alone. Yes, you are very alone. He struggles to understand. You are worthless. He knows he is valuable, loved completely. He reads the words on the pages but says it cannot happen. You are insignificant, of no use. He keeps reading. He remembers the night it happened. He recalls it vividly. The words are so brilliantly written on these pages. He hates you. He finds the words he was searching for. He reads the love letter. He scans it over and over. The love letter. He hates you! He falls to his knees. He’ll never accept you. He’ll never love you. He cries out. “Save me, please save me! I’m sorry, so very sorry.” He’ll never accept you. He cries out again. The lies fade away. Fade quickly away. I love you completely. I died for you. I forgive you. The one in the love letter was speaking! “I love you.” He continues to read. He finds life. New life. I love you, I ransomed you. You are mine. New life.

This would be something I quickly wrote. It’s just some things that were on my mind and almost completely random. Or were they.

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Whom have I in Heaven but You?

There’s an awesome Psalm that I might write more about later (along with Psalm 19, because it’s one of my favorites right now) …

This is Psalm 73, a Psalm of Asaph. Asaph had started “envying the proud when he saw them prospering despite their wickedness” (Psalm 73:3 NLT).  I’m not about to post the entire Psalm, as it’s not sort, but here’s the part I love — he realizes how “my health may fail, and my spirit may grow weak, but God remains the strength of my heart; he is mine forever” (Psalm 73:26 NLT).  Here’s Psalm 73:20-26 NLT.

When you arise, O Lord,
      you will laugh at their silly ideas
      as a person laughs at dreams in the morning.

Then I realized that my heart was bitter,
      and I was all torn up inside.
I was so foolish and ignorant—
      I must have seemed like a senseless animal to you.
Yet I still belong to you;
      you hold my right hand.
You guide me with your counsel,
      leading me to a glorious destiny.
Whom have I in heaven but you?
      I desire you more than anything on earth.
My health may fail, and my spirit may grow weak,
      but God remains the strength of my heart;
      he is mine forever.

Whom in heaven have I but you, God?  I desire you more than anything on earth.  As the Amplified version says, “I have no delight or desire on earth besides You.”  This should be our prayer.  And as the New King James says, “My flesh and my heart fail; but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.”

Before I close this, I probably should mention a little more about this.  I read this Psalm because I had heard a message on a podcast recently.  I liked it then and had it book marked, but while I was sick a few weeks ago, I heard a song by BarlowGirl come on ChristianPowerPraise.net which is Psalm 73 (My God’s Enough).  It’s a great song, and I recommend it.

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Confused Frustrations

I’ll try to skip the usual “it’s been a long time since I last posted” spill, and get straight to the point this time.

So many things are just frustrating and confusing me.  I see this and that and I push to do what is right, but there’s times where I just feel worn out.  It’s been almost five years and I have no one to confide in here.  I’m not wanting sympathy, partly because I think this is somewhat of a phase in life anyway.  If I have to stay in the wilderness (as it often appears) for the next 20 years to move to where God has for me, then I’d rather stay there.  What makes it frustrating is when some things look lost.  I don’t want to move until God tells me to move.  It’s discouraging sometimes looking at where others are and feeling there’s no hope to get even close to where they are.  I know there’s hope though.  There’s always hope.

In the mean time, I’ve been listening to my pastor at church and many different podcasts.  If it weren’t for podcasting, I don’t know where I’d be.  Lately I’ve been listening to theMill, Desperation, _tag, and the onething podcasts.