Category: Personal

Personal posts to me

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The Last Day

I ended work today.  It was actually quick and easy.  I feel they do want me to come back, which is good.  Last year I was late, and they really didn’t seem like they wanted me there.  Anywho, that’s good.  I enjoyed the people I worked with this year too.  I’ll probably go back in December.

My dad finished replacing my clutch.  I love it.  It works perfect.  I’ve never felt a new clutch, and I love how it feels.

Jennifer came over, and we eventually went to eat at Ruby Tuesdays.  It was pretty good.  It was the first time I’ve ever been there.  The food was good and filling.  I had a good time anyway though …

So, the last day ends for a new one to begin.

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Reverse

Already 9:30.  It was a tired day today.  Quite repetitive, but that’s okay.  I have two more full work days left, which I’m kind of wishing wasn’t so now.  I like the job a bit more now that I’ve got stuff I can do.

My car is getting a new clutch.  There’s always hope.  I’m hoping that replacing the clutch is going to fix everything.  Right now, the people on the car forum I’m on are saying it may be a bit more of a problem than it was.  Bit more of a problem meaning more time and money.  There’s always hope, so that’s all I’m doing.  This is why I like computer.  Only a few mechanical parts.  Cheap replacement for those parts too.

Not sure how to type the other thing on my mind now, plus I need to get to bed.  Coffee just don’t wake me up.  My sinuses are all screwed up now.  I never remember having such problems with my sinuses in Colorado (because it’s dry?) … but some people did (bloody noses, and such).  It’s life I guess.

Oh, on Monday I found someone (a customer at work) to fill out an evaluation form on me.  Those things help in re-employment next year.  I’d enjoy coming back out next year.

School starts back Monday.  Excited and nervous.  And middle-sided.

iTunes did something really bad … they added the History Channel to their TV Shows.  I guess I may purchase my first show on there sometime.  Two dollars isn’t too bad, I don’t guess.  Plus, I like ’em!

Finally, “reverse” — the entry title — is for that thing I’m not sure how to type.

Edit: Okay, so I just bought one of the shows from iTunes and the History Channel.  It’s The Revolution series that’s been on.  I’ve not been able to watch it because it comes on a 9pm on Sundays — the time I get to bed.

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New Things Come in Time

I’ve been looking at getting a new computer this year.  I’m not totally sure I’ll be able to get it yet because of monetary reasons.  I should have enough for college, cell phone, and gas and a little left over to use however I want to.  I want to keep a fair amount stored away because of anything I may need it for (ie: the clutch in my car needing replacing).  I still want to get something going in helping someone.  I’m still thinking of sponsoring a child; however, I don’t want to commit and then find something else I want to contribute to that’s closer to home.  It’s not an excuse for waiting, I would rather focus on my community first before hand.

I’ve got a few more minutes left on the last message in the “Living In Graceland” series from theMill.  In the last one Aaron Stern talks about helping the needy.  I want to help them.  I would really love to focus on my age group (which is fast approaching: “used to be my age group”).

There was an entry I added, ironically, a year ago tomorrow.  I wasn’t even aware that it was the “anniversary” of the post, but either way — I was going to talk about.  In brief, the post is about who I’m looking for in a future wife.  Recently, I’ve just about grown to the point where I’m not sure it can be met — and others around me have told me the same.  So I’m keeping the list until September 15th, 2006 — unless something changes.  That’s a full month.  If nothing has changed from now and then, I’m changing it.  Some of the things that I feel are essential for me to connect to whomever I date (and hope-to marry), are the things I’ll probably reform or remove.

Of the items on my list that’ll be changed is music.  Why did I add music in the first place?  It all comes down to this: garbage in, garbage out.  I want a pure relationship.  I can’t relate to music that has ungodly content.  I mean, the music doesn’t have to have plain out “wrong” lyrics.  Even if they’re about just relationships, I don’t relate to most.  Does that mean I specify all secular music as “wrong”?  Of course not, I like a few (key word: few) secular groups.  They’re not on my media library, though.  I don’t listen to them in the car.  I just don’t have enough time to listen to Christian music and secular to see what I like and don’t like and worry about the lyrics.  This is just one of the few things I’ll change.

A few days ago I felt like just striking out most of the entry, but have decided just in the past hour or so to wait.  If I get rid of some of the constraints, I may find someone whom I like.  I suppose I could talk about it all day, but right now it’s not going to change anything.

All I’m going to do now is pray and hope for the best.  I’ve prayed that if I’m living in legalism, or my list is legalistic, that it’ll be revealed to me.  I want to be real with people, but I also have deep convictions.  I try to be as real with people as I can.

I’m enjoying work this year.  The air conditioner doesn’t work in our office, but that’s life.  Last year I complained of it being too cold.  So I shouldn’t complain, I guess.

I’m ready for school to start … I think.  Next week is going to be different.  I’ll probably go eat lunch at least one day out of the year.  Maybe I can see some people in class and sit with them at lunch.  Meeting people is horrible though.  Especially if you don’t have anything in common …

New things, they come in time …

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18 More Days

Classes start in 18 days.  Until then, I’ll be working at another school.  I’ve stayed in school just about this entire year, technically.  I’m working at ACSC (Air Command and Staff College), which supplies the students with help for their laptops, which we provide.  We hand out a little over three-hundred laptops next week.  It’s interesting sometimes.  Right now we’ve done all the tasks that were scheduled for this week (minus a few minor items), so tomorrow may be a lax day.  Our main offices air conditioning doesn’t work so we’ve been hanging out in other rooms as much as possible (until the students show up, anyway).  When it’s 90 degrees outside at 9:00pm, just imagine what it is in our room.  I’d say it’s about 85 degrees in there, but I could be wrong.  No computers have died, so I guess they’re holding up pretty well.  I’ve been working ACSC for a good 4 to 8 weeks now, and like it pretty well.

Anyway, my classes start back on Monday 21 August 2006.  The main thing I’m looking forward to is being able to have a normal sleeping pattern.  Right now I get up at 5 and get to bed by 9 … or try.  Here lately I’ve not been able to sleep until 11 or later, which is bad (and also messes up my eating habbits and such).  I’ve got Calculus 1, Literature, Biology (I couldn’t take it last year because of scheduling), and some MIS class.  I’m not sure how the load will be.  I’m taking one more credit hour, so the tuition went up a little bit.

I’ve set a release date for the next version of E-Blah, 19 August 2006.  Hopefully I can get the new version, E-Blah 10.0, out to the public that day.  Normally, when a new version comes out that helps me out monetarily (so I’ll have a little spending money and such).  It would have been great to have gotten it out mid-June or so, but that would have been an entirely unrealistic date due to the number of changes to the entire system, which have been quite extensive.

Oh!  A few weeks ago I somewhat retyped out a list of scriptures I posted several months ago.  I retyped the, origionally, for someone at church that I’ve yet to be able to hand to that person.  I think others may find it helpful so I’m going to post it here.

I’ve had a pretty good week!  Other than being tired, it’s been pretty good.

Well, I’m off to bed as I have to drive to work tomorrow …

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Complaining

I’m don’t want to complain, but it’s hard not to sometimes.  Every day it’s like another day made lame.  I’m here with nobody.  Maybe if I compromise things would be better, but that’s not me.  I guess I’m strongwilled in that area … or something.  Put straight, I’m sick of living here.  Just sick.  It seems like everyone is set in their cliques and to enter into theirs you have to fit into it some sort of way.  Maybe I’m wrong.  Maybe I haven’t given this city enough chance.  I can count on one hand the number of “good” things that I’ve learned (or succedded in) since moving here.  Honestly, I don’t want to be.  Ever.  I’d rather have no friends here, than a bunch of them that have no common sense (as most don’t, it seems).

The best thing I can do now is just smile, and act happy.  Inside, though, I’m not even sure.  It’s a cross between so many feelings right now.  I wish everything would just pass, and I could rewind five years.  I guess what it is, is that once you’ve been at one point and are slingshotted back a few thousand feet, it’s kind of like dying, only you still live and long to be back where you once were.  At least at the origin you had people you could confide in (even if they weren’t the best of friends).

I probably should go to a good course, such as The Furnace, Masters Commission, or twentyfourseven.  I doubt I ever will.  I probably need it, but I doubt I’ll ever go.

I’ve been thinking about just saying no to “looking”, “trying to look”, “bothering to look”, “not-bothering to look”, etc. for a girlfriend/wife/whatever.  Paul said it was better to be single.  If I make the statement public, that’d mean that anytime I were asked, told, etc. I could just say “I’m not trying or wanting to date”.

I’ve learned to drive my car — alone — to all social events now.  This way I can get there, sit down, eat, and leave.  Not sit down, eat, and bore myself to death.  No one socializes with me, I’d rather be at home doing something more … productive.

It’s almost time for church, so I guess I need to stop typing all these (lame) thoughts.

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Little Posting

I’ve posted very little this month.  I’ve been tired, and really haven’t had much things really on my mind (worth actually posting).  I went to bed at 7:30 last night, and fell asleep almost right when my head hit the pillow.  Currently, I’m at church in a baby shower.  Here comes the last gift as I type.  It’s for a couple in our church.  I’m anti-social, again.  I like one on one conversations, not conversation in groups.

I’ve been working a bit at work lately.  I’ve made my job a lot easier, so I’ve been able to knock out what I have to do relatively quickly.  I’m so glad I know programming — it makes life so much easier.  We have a laptop issue tomorrow.  I just hope I won’t be speaking (one on one, that’s how I like it).

I started reading a chapter or two of the Bible every morning, I got through all of Romans (which is a book I love).  I skipped around today, but I’ll probably start 1 Corinthians tomorrow (which is one of my favorite books, as well).  I’ve almost finished my other book — The Burning Heart Contract.  I’ve been listening to several podcasts almost every morning before work and every afternoon after work.  Over the past week or so I’ve been listening to a new podcast from my old church in Colorado Springs, The Desperation Podcast.  They’ve been going through one of A.W. Tozers books, which I plan to one day read.  I’ve read a good bit of Tozer and like him pretty well.  A good quote I heard this morning was by Aaron Stern — are you consuming God, or are you being consumed by God?  I’m going off of memory, so it may not be a verbatim quote.

Anyway, I think we’re about to leave, so I guess I’m going to go for now.  I’ll try to post something more interesting in a few days … maybe.

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Oh God, Oh God I Need You!

When I got tired of running from you
I stopped right there to catch my breath
There your words they caught my ears
You said, “I miss you son. Come home”
And my sins, they watched me leave
And in my heart I so believed
The love you felt for me was mine
The love I’d wished for all this time
And when the doors were closed
I heard no I told so’s
I said the words I knew you knew
Oh God, Oh God I needed you
God all this time I needed you, I needed you

Relient K – I So Hate Consequences

I want to go to sleep.  I can’t get these thoughts out of my head.

Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.

Psalm 23:4 (KJV)

I’m selfish.  I’m worrying about this, while there’s an entire city not caring a thing in the world about it.  In a heartbeat: over.  Gone.  Nothing.  Evil pervades the darkest corners.  About life I go — not caring a thing in the world for what’s around the corner.  “No idea what to do”, I say.  Yet all the while the person down the street is dying.  Completely oblivious that there’s life after death.  Suffocating.  Dying.  Yet, I eat and worry about my own self-absorbed issues.  Prayer?  It’s rarely thought of.  Like the thought of dying.  Out of sight, out of mind.  “Never”, we say, “I’ll die at 75 of natural causes”.  All the while, they die the next day.  Ended.  Gone.  In an instance.  Heave or Hell?  Not the words: the place.  Never fully understanding there was life after death …