Frustration

College and the importance thereof.  Or not.

Why is it that you go to school for half of your life, then you go back to school (college) for another half of your life to learn about crap you could really care less about?  On top of that, half of it is useless, time consuming items that could be well spent doing something else.  This is just part of the confusions and frustrations I’ve been dealing with the past few days.

Over the past several years, I’ve been pretty good at computers.  They come naturally to me.  I’m not good with all aspects of computing, of course, but I can manage to do just about what basic book sense professionals can do (only in about one-fifth of the amount of time it’d take them to run through their book-sense procedures).  I’m just stating the facts of life and how I’ve seen it played out at work and other jobs I’ve done online and such.  If I can’t figure something out I’ll spend literally hours trying to figure it out.  Normally I’ll either do exactly what I wanted to do, or make a work around that would do what I wanted it to do (such as with things I don’t know much about: databases and *nix-based operating systems).

Anyway, I say all that because I’m downright bored with college.  All I’m learning about is how to write a several page essay paper on something I could care less about reading, much less responding to or do research and then respond to an essay.  However, with that said, I do like reading and writing.  I don’t even mind the occasional two-page analytical essay about something I read.  What I do not like is writing several of them per class, not having a clear example of how to write it (to that instructors specifications), and ones requiring me to write pages and pages on end about something that could have been expressed in one to two pages — tops.

Next is math.  I love math.  The thing I don’t like about it is learning the specific formulas and then being taught something in 45 minutes, which should have taken at least 3 hours to discuss.  I don’t learn by watching and doing later.  I learn by watching, trying to do it in class, and then seeing where I screwed up, so I can go back and make the needed corrections.

Technically, the only way I know I may be able to get an okay job is to put up with this nonsense for another few years.  I’m not sure that I’ll get a good job then though.  I’ve seriously been considering going through the process of changing my major here lately too.  I like programming, but I like doing it alone (in other words, I hate looking at others code and hacking it).  I like server and database administration.  I like web-based computing (as that’s really what all of my experience thus far has been in).

The dream I have with a career involves a little bit of computers and a little bit of church.  I want to be involved in the church someway.  I also want to be involved in this community in someway.  I wish something could come up where I could work around here — contract — with various computer needs of local area businesses.  There must be someone that needs some help, somehow.  I really don’t know how to do that though.  Advertising is not my speciality.  Not in the least.

It often seems that the hope I have for that is just utterly hopeless.  I’m not sure anyone really thinks it can happen.  It might be true.  I’m trying to trust God.  I’m just worried about not passing my core classes …

… and that’s rarely ever a joyful place to be.

Politics

Sometimes I wish I could live in a box where just nothing happened.  I’m becoming more and more angry with the Democrats.  The word “lie” is thrown around all the time.   I can’t just say “they’re lying”.  It’s like circular, someone will always come back with a (rather simple minded) statement and say you’re wrong.  If that makes any sense.  They’re not lying.  They’re deceiving.  The problem with deception is it’s hard to recover from.  It’s not just something that can be thought of passively.  It’s down right scary that people are believing things they’re saying.   It’s like a bunch of people walking around with these shields over their eyes, not even attempting to seek out truth.

That brings me to my next point — the easiest deceived are also the ones who are the most bitter about something.  Like a lamb lead to the slaughter, they’re drinking in the deception.  They’ve drank in the “you can’t offend anyone” juice, and now swear by it.  If it only hurt themselves, it may not be so scary (only sad).  However, it doesn’t just effect one person, it’ll effect a nation.  Several months ago I wrote about how political correctness will destroy a nation — a people.  It, in the end, leads to utter ignorance.

I’ve tried to analyze what, exactly, would happen if the Democrats would win this years election, and it’s not just “ho-hum”, business as usual, it’s down right terrifying.  What I’m worried about is that a bunch of ignorant people (those who aren’t into current events) vote.  I don’t honestly believe many people who stay up to date with current events could ever vote for a Democrat.

Next thing on my mind is the ignorance surrounding minimum wage.  The worst thing that could happen to our economy right now would be raising it.  It’d cripple our economy.  We currently have a good dollar value.  If the minimum wage were raised just a little, it’d take our dollar and make it down right worthless.  People don’t get this.  I don’t believe I fully understood this until I took economics last year.  The fact that the Democrats are using this issue shouldn’t be a surprise, as many young people (who would like to work at a higher wage) will be drawn to those who will give them a few more bucks.  Cheap votes, is their thinking.  All the while, they don’t realize it’ll make product prices shoot through the roof overnight, and we’d have a suffering economy for quite some time.  It’s horrible when you have a party that’d rather get votes, than protect the needs of its country.

To those who try to make the war their case for voting Democrat, wars were never won in a day.  If it hadn’t been for a massive loss of life, we (the Allies) would never have succeeded in defeating the Axis during World War II.  They’re ugly affairs, but sometimes, they must be fought.

There’s more to just who you vote for than war and how much you get paid.  There’s more people that have been murdered in America than this current war overseas.  Much more.  This murder is legal though.  It’s purely legal.  The Democrats won’t support their voices.  Never have Democrats, never will Democrats.  These people never have a chance to vote.  They never have a chance to speak their voice.  Anyone that tries to justify “abortion” as a “right” is as guilty of murder as those who are committing the act.  I’m still at a lose for why anyone in their right mind would support murdering of the innocent.  If there’s a single reason to vote Republican, this is it.  We’re giving those without a voice, a voice.  However loud it may be.  We cannot give up on them. They’re helpless without our help.

Finally, I leave you with another cause never to support these people: they try (and succeed many times) to control and manipulate the media.  If all that doesn’t scare you, I’m not quite sure what will.

Oh God, Oh God I Need You!

When I got tired of running from you
I stopped right there to catch my breath
There your words they caught my ears
You said, “I miss you son. Come home”
And my sins, they watched me leave
And in my heart I so believed
The love you felt for me was mine
The love I’d wished for all this time
And when the doors were closed
I heard no I told so’s
I said the words I knew you knew
Oh God, Oh God I needed you
God all this time I needed you, I needed you

Relient K – I So Hate Consequences

I want to go to sleep.  I can’t get these thoughts out of my head.

Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.

Psalm 23:4 (KJV)

I’m selfish.  I’m worrying about this, while there’s an entire city not caring a thing in the world about it.  In a heartbeat: over.  Gone.  Nothing.  Evil pervades the darkest corners.  About life I go — not caring a thing in the world for what’s around the corner.  “No idea what to do”, I say.  Yet all the while the person down the street is dying.  Completely oblivious that there’s life after death.  Suffocating.  Dying.  Yet, I eat and worry about my own self-absorbed issues.  Prayer?  It’s rarely thought of.  Like the thought of dying.  Out of sight, out of mind.  “Never”, we say, “I’ll die at 75 of natural causes”.  All the while, they die the next day.  Ended.  Gone.  In an instance.  Heave or Hell?  Not the words: the place.  Never fully understanding there was life after death …

Smooth Talking …

This past week has went by pretty quick.  I had to work Monday, but I got off Tuesday for the Forth.  I drove the family to watch fireworks.  It was a pretty good 30-minute show.  I didn’t get home until around 11 (and I didn’t fall asleep until 12).  I’ve been reading a new book I got call, “The Burning Heart Contract” by Becky Tirabassi.  It’s very good so far, although I’m not too fond of the 21-day reading (I like a sit-down and read it all, kind of book).  It’s been challenging though, as the book is about committing a certain set of time each day for the rest of your life to prayer and reading the Bible.  I recommend it highly … remember though, it may cost you.

I’ve got another month-and-a-half left until the fall semester starts.  I’m sort of ready for it to start.

Over the past three or four days I’ve got “invitations” for MySpace … being sent to an e-mail address I don’t use publically that much.  It doesn’t even show you who it is, either.  After the fourth one or so, I decided to tell them to block my e-mail address.  Hopefully I won’t get anymore spam from them.  I met several people through the site when I was a member.  Facebook is great, I’ve only met one person through it though (and she was from one of my classes).  It’s just hard to meet new people.  When at school, people have the phone stuck in their ears most of the time.  It makes me wonder how people did 15 years ago when there weren’t any cell phones.

“Prayer in the Darkness” was pretty good.  There’s already another one scheduled for the 22nd of this month.  I should have called the sign up sheet a “Commitment Sheet”.  I may do that, actually.

I’ve been getting sick of politics here lately.  There’s several African Americans on the GOP ticket this year (more than any other year, for any party, I should add).  This is a great thing.  Slowly, but surely, this group of voters are finally seeing who wants the best for them.  The sad thing is, many of their leaders (ie: NAACP) want to keep them poverty stricken.  However, there are an increasing number of up-and-coming black leaders that are making considerable headway, and quite frankly, their sick of the garbage the DNC has thrown at them.  The DNC knows this and is terrified.

The next part of politics is the democrats have succeeded in keeping DeLay on the ballot.  In other words, the GOP can’t replace him with another candidate.  Anyone with a brain (which seems increasingly hard to find in the world of politics), will tell you this is both unfair and dishonest business.  They’ve already trashed his good reputation with things that have yet to be proven.  He’s not even living in Texas anymore.  I’m hoping the Texans have a brain and do the right thing — vote straight ticket Republican.

Finally, the fact that government secrets have a “right” to be leaked.  If we’re attacked again, it won’t be anyone’s fault but the leakers and media.  The leakers are, by all means, committing treason (read definition number 2).  The media is relaying this information to the terrorists (and those who are pretty violent towards the US who are living in the US), committing espionage.  The US Department of Defense Dictionary states:

The act of obtaining, delivering, transmitting, communicating, or receiving information about the national defense with an intent, or reason to believe, that the information may be used to the injury of the United States or to the advantage of any foreign nation. Espionage is a violation of 18 United States Code 792-798 and Article 106, Uniform Code of Military Justice.

Unfortunately, there’s little chance that anything will be done about any of these incidents.  It’s sad that in America you can get away with this type of stuff.

Finally there’s the people out there that are sad that Ken Lay died in his home before getting to go to prison.  There’s people that wish he “suffered” in prison.  People need to learn that vengeance is the Lord’s.  Unless we were the jury or the judge, we have no right (what so ever) to judge what should, or should not, happen to this guy.  Those that lost money, they need to understand the art of forgiveness.  Life isn’t fair.  Things blow up and don’t go our way — those are the times we’ve got to learn to forgive and keep going.  However, if everyone did this, there wouldn’t be a need for News networks, governments, or anything else.  And politically correctness wouldn’t be a part of that society.

I wasn’t wanting to get too political, but I suppose I did.  I’m tired of watching the news and seeing smooth talking liars leading good people down a dark, deadly path.

The Bloody Field

I've been thinking heavily over the past day or two about the church, my city, and the evil surrounding it all.  I guess I'm kind of on the verge of anger and just deep saddness.  One of the things I hate so deeply is the division in the church.  I hate it.  I hate bad theologies that had good meaning (and are even true to an extent).  I hate evil.  I hate the church's passive stance on evil.  When I say passive, I mean they pray a little here and there (does anyone even show up for "prayer meetings"?), but other than that it's just sweep under the rug.  Evil's out there, but we're just supposed to pretend we don't see it — or pretend it's not really that bad.

Here's the truth: there are thousands of people (many church people included) that are in a sea.  They're drowning.  How can I say this?  They're going to hell.  Hell.  What can I do?  This city loves religion.  They cherish it like a fat guy cherish's birthday cake.  Just tradition: nothing more, nothing less.  They go to school, work, and just life in general and they have absolutely no fruits (of the spirit).  They're so blinded.  They think all they have to do is say "Jesus I lub u, come into me hert".  THAT'S NOT WHAT BEING A CHRISTIAN IS!

One theological element I'm talking about here is that of "once saved, always saved".  It's enveloped this city.  They live by it.  It's sending them to hell, too.  They're dying because a church wants membership.  All the while, the enemy is sitting back — enjoying the blind ignorance of the people.

It makes me want to cry.  I hate it.  Then there's denominations.  I'll be overjoyed when it's not "what denomination are you" and instead "are you a Christian, saved by Christ Jesus".  The church isn't the baptist denomination.  It isn't the Methodist church.  Stop playing church politics.  Church isn't a place for politics.  Period.  Politics plays such a large role in church.  I've saw over the years how politics ruin things.

"Once saved, always saved" can be true — to an extent.  Once you're saved, you have to give your life to God.  You'll always be saved IF you keep that.  It's an if-then-else.  Not just a simple if.  If you give God your life and remain in him, then you're always saved; else you're not and you're not of God.  If-then-else.  Remember that.

It's like throwing a life-preserver over a boat and then when the person who needed saving gets the preserver the thrower just lets go of the string and the boat leaves.  What good is it then?!  That's just like planting a seed and never giving it water.  Perhaps another ship will come by, but what if they don't?

In other words, you just planted a seed in that person's heart that they're "eternally secure".  You've just lied to them.  Now they're going off drifting — doing all the things of the world, not set apart at all.  When they die they'll say: "I thought once I was saved, I was always saved".  They'll be denied because of an eternal lie.  Very, very bad.

I've came to the conclusion that this city can't be saved until religion is first broken.  Maybe I'm wrong, I accept it if I am.  Until the walls of religion are broken in this city, it's going to be that much harder to reach the unsaved saved.  They think they're saved — but they aren't.  I'm not judging people.  Those who are really, genuinely seeking God (even though they do screw up all the time) — I'm not talking about them.  I'm talking about the ones who think they're saved, but they can live however they want to during the week.

On the subject of denomination's, we need to live this song by Disciple, I Just Know.  Who cares if we get in the aisles and dance?  Who care's if someone worships a little different?  Who cares if we pace during worship.  Who cares if we raise our hands?  I love a quote I heard a few days ago: "dignity is NOT a fruit of the spirit".

Something else that I never really thought of — back in Jesus day a lot of babies were slaughtered.  The enemy knew Jesus was the one who was to defeat him so he wanted him to die.  He missed, but a great sin had been committed and a lot of innocent babies were slaughtered.  The enemy has been trying to do it again through what's called "abortion".

Revolution.  I've heard that word used by several people over the past few weeks.  Non-Christians are throwing around the word, as are Christians.  All I can say is this — if the non-Christians get their way — there's going to be chaos.  Entire chaos.  Like riot chaos.  There's only a few more years.  The politics have to go.  The pride has to go.  The church has to get back to what it's meant to do — lead people to Jesus.

We — this generation — are tired of luke-warm church.  We want meat.  We're tired of milk.  We're tired of shallow sermons.  We're tired of shallow people.  We've saw more, we know more, we think more.  We're ready to have a dirty faith — a faith that goes all out for Jesus.  We're tired of little games.  We're ready for truth.  We're hungry for truth.  It's not impossible — it may just mean that some peoples egos may get hurt.  A little more humbleness never hurt anyone (minus the one being humbled).  It's a bloody field, are we going to go and help the sick?  Or are we just going to watch them die?  It's a yes or no question.  Not a yes, maybe, or no.

Encouragements

I've been pretty silent on The Da Vinci Code debate. It honestly doesn't interest me that much. If it was historically accurate it does sound like it'd be interesting (although how can you make something that far out accurate?). Honestly, just reading 1st and 2nd Kings is some of the best reading in the world. It's awesome. That's besides the point I'm getting at though. One of the largest reasons why I do not wish to read this book is the fact that is tries to confuse fact with fiction. This is actual a great tactic for governments trying to brainwash someone. If you can confuse someone about what is good and what is evil, your job is MUCH easier. For example: say you wreck your car and it was the other persons fault. Three years later someone writes a fictional book about a situation almost identical to yours but blames it on themselves. The reader knows he was not at fault before the read, but at the end he's confused as to whether or not he was really blameless. Bad example, perhaps, but it works.

The book is number one on Facebook. Aside from the fact that this probably isn't "scientific", it does include a great majority of college students (or once college students). The Bible is number three (below Harry Potter). I'm not too sure how the whole "don't go see this movie" campaign from a large majority in the church went, but honestly it drew a lot of attention to it — good and bad. The church needs to proclaim the authenticity of the Bible (it's authentic, and there's a lot of proof to back it up). I watched something tonight that said the majority of people are ignorant to church history. I couldn't agree more. We've got to know the church history. It's incredibly interesting too. I'm think we'd be surprised at the amount of people who do not know what Protestantism is. That's not even the largest part (in modern church history, I'd say it's close to number one, if not number one). I don't know near as much church history as I'd like.

One side note on this, why isn't many people defending Leonardo Da Vinci? Talk about slander. Everyone who thinks of him now thinks of this book [of lies] as something he thought up. Not good.

I'm thankful for those who are there that give encouragement. Everyone has bad days (weeks, and months), and we all need people here to encourage us. Sometimes I feel like I'm not reaching anyone, but then I'm proven wrong. A few weeks (or months) ago I was wondering if E-Blah even reached anyone with the credits. Not too much later, I got an e-mail from a guy who said that it planted a seed. Even if it didn't do much, it led to something.

We should all be encourager's. I want to be an encouragement to people. Someway. Somehow. I love just listening to people, maybe that's some encouragement to someone. It encourages me sometimes when I've got something going on. I love just helping people. Several weeks ago we had an in class assignment that I knew and understood pretty well. I could have left 30 minutes early or so, but instead decided to stay and help the those that sat around me that did not understand it. I'm not saying that for credit, but this is what we, as Christians, should do. If we have a talent, we should use it … sometimes it causes discomfort. We are supposed to live selfless lives. Would I have really missed those 30 minutes? Not really. I would have got home that much sooner. Lame excuse for not helping someone, I think.

Things I Hate

Today I was getting my daily dish of news (first from Drudge Report and later from SRN).  The headlines was the "NSA Wiretapping" thing.  I think USA Today has been living in an area of the world without Internet, TV, or radio for the past six or seven months.  The news that "broke" today was "broke" months ago by the NYT.  It was as stupid then as it is now.  Nothing has changed between then and now.  What's even more foolish is how people get in a hissy fit about this.  Are people so ignorant they don't even read the full article?  They're tracking phone numbers to see the incoming and outgoing calls, making sure it's not going to terrorist organizations (not getting your address and name, etc).  I highly doubt they'll care if you take to your wife or girlfriend about dinner.  It should be clear: they aren't using it for anything more … they aren't breaking down all the druggies doors, are they?  It's not cross-America tracking.

Traffic doesn't bother me.  Other people that love to go 20 MPH over the limit tick me off.  I'm going the limit (and sucking down less fuel in the process) … if I slam on breaks, I don't want to have an Intrepid plowing into me.  Why can't people obey to law and just go the limit?  When passing people — and going over the limit — always try to check for cops.  Don't start edging past and then see the cop and slow down 10MPH under the limit.  The cop might pull you over for going to slow.  Be smart — go the limit.

Murder.  I guess it's obvious, most sane people should hate murder, right?  Well, most do.  The guy that was in college, going to research a cure for cancer.  He was given the cure, he was going to college to be able to prove it and put it to use.  Sadly, this was one of the 47 million people killed 21 years ago by "abortion" (you can't really "abort" a life).  Even worse is there are people trying to put legality to the murder.  It's not a right to murder someone.  I guess I honestly got a pure hatred for it when I listened to the JHOP podcast a week ago.  The one that got me was the girl who lost twin brothers by abortion.  It's an evil practice and it shouldn't be stopped, it MUST be stopped.  Why are people so blind?

Liberal propaganda is lame and much (most) of it is evil.  They accept ideas that go in direct opposition to the Bible.  Abortion.  Homosexuality.  List goes on …

Text books that use the words: bigot, fanatic, dogma, etc.  If you want creditability — never use these words.  It makes you look like an ignoramus.  You're going to make people read your propaganda anyway — why use words that discredit all your work?  Personal blogs don't count.  Don't put it in a text book.  Especially if you want people to believe anything you say from that point forward.

Scientists who are still stuck on trying to prove things that have been disproven countless times look funny.  It makes them come off as coo-key.  After a while, you'd think they'd try to come up with a better "solution" to the earths creation (while, of course, still trying to disprove the provable).  Come up with something about more than, "oh, it was millions of years".  Not all are so funny — some are serious and further technology and do things worthwhile — like find cures for things.

Loneliness.

I think that's about all for now.  I'll have to post the things I love one day.  I don't hate the people doing these things … I just hate the actions of these people.  Just wanted to make that clear.