The Countdown

The past week has been just awesome. I’ve been realizing things a little diffrently lately, and I’ve been thinking more about things that matter. I’m just tired of where I am now, and I want a change. I’ve got to have a change. I want to fall in love all over again, and just lately have I been realizing what loving God really is — and loving people, for that matter. The past week I’ve found — or they’ve been revealed — two points that I must have to love God: serventhood and obediance. Delayed obediance is disobediance. That’s just the honest truth.

It all comes down to just knowing Jesus. That’s my desire right now … and the rest will follow. It’s like I’m being pulled in two directions sometimes, and it must stop. I’ve got to have a touch — a relationship — with the only one who loves me unconditionally. That’s all I really can say.

It’s now the time where I must leave.

Collision

Tonights one of the few nights where I’m really not sure how to start off the entry. Maybe it’s because I’m tired; maybe it’s because I shouldn’t really be writing one tonight. Either way, I’ve started it, so here it is.

A video was shown today in Government, it was about the inequality of America (our History) — not just with African Americans, but with Jews, Chinese, and others. The video as a whole was quite good and informative. I didn’t agree with the title though, but that’s for a diffrent time to discuss. We had a sheet to fill out afterwards. For some reason what I wrote was like … a dazed copy of what I wanted to say — why remains somewhat of a mystery, although I have a speculation. It was like I was there, but I wasn’t. Hard to explain. I just don’t remember what I wrote, and I don’t think I answered the questions how she wanted them. There we go.

On a lighter note, one of the AUM cats had kittens. So now I get to see four little kittens when I walk to class (if they’re not under the cop cars). It’s kind of funny, there used to just be the adult cats …

Lately I’ve taken a break from normality. The good thing is — I love it. That’s pretty much all I’m saying, other than the fact that it could be permenent.

And with that, I must leave …

Wildfires are Contagious

“When you set yourself on fire, people love to come and see you burn”, John Wesely. This is the quote I want to be for my generation, among a few others. Think about what will happen if we’re on fire … not just a little brushfire — a wildfire. What will happen, when it happens? It’s coming.

I’ve got other stuff to do tonight, but today was a good day both at work and at school. This entire week has been awesome, and I can’t wait for church tomorrow. Saturday LWWC is having a cleaning day, so I’m planning on going down and helping clean up the church. Hopefully it’ll be an awsome time to get to know the people there better, most definatly the men there.

Tonight’s entry shall be very short, as I’ve got other things to do tonight.

Smiling and Smiling

Alright, so I wake up this morning late, not too late though, and take a shower and get all ready to go to school when I open the door to my car and notice that my non-working sunroof has leaked again. I had to run and get a few towels and let them suck up the standing water and such. I’ll probably put some kind of sealant on the sunroof window tomorrow when everything is completely dried and there’s no threat of rain. The sunroof had leaked before but we cleaned out the little drainage holes and all, so it wouldn’t leak anymore. I have no clue what could have got in there to clog it up again. That kind of stuff just drives me up the wall because I just don’t want anything to happen to my car and all. I just need to trust God with it though, my lifes in His hands.

Moving along … yesterday before church I checked out iTickets website for some reason and low and behold … the Falling Up concert has been cancled. While that ticked me off, I waited for “conformation”. I let my mom call the people up while I was at school and all today. The church said they cancled just a week prior to the event, and later — around 7 o’clock or so, someone calls back from the events sponser as to why it was cancled. The reasoning made me very mad. I’m not mad at the sponser, I’m very happy and excited at what they’re doing and hope they don’t give up — I’m mad at this general area. The event was cancled as only 4 tickets — yes only FOUR tickets — were sold. Three for me … and obviously someone else was going. Now sure, that understandable. While I’ve not heard the other side of the story, I did hear my mom’s retelling of why the event was canceled. The local radio stations in the Montgomery area wouldn’t run ads. The local churches wouldn’t sponser it. I guess over all they had no support and word of mouth only works so much.

Now this all brings me to the church. The church is suppose to be a body of people supporting each other. Yet it’s like the church is only supporting itself. It’s not reaching out. I saw so many people at school and when I said I listen to Christian Rock most thought that meant Third Day. Third Day, for those who need informing, is a band from Atlanta. That’s probably the only reason everyone knows them. They have some very powerful songs — but the lyrics are really the best part about their music. A large majority of church today likes to push Christian Rock, Rap, Hard Rock, and etc out the window and DISCOURAGE them from listening to such. Look, the times have changed. The church has to change with the times. As much as I hate the music class I’m in, I’ve learned something … durring the reformation hymns became a part of church largely in part due to Martin Luther and his protestant reformation. The catholic church was faced with a challenge — and they, as well, had a change in music. A vast majority of what Christian Rock entails NEEDS to be in church today. Sometimes we just need to cry out to God — and the word cry there means to shout (Ps. 18:6, for example). I know many songs that hold so much emotion and passion for God that needs to be put into church — and these are deeper than your grandmothers hymns, these are songs full of the hearts of todays youth and young adults. The fact is, people are still listening to secular music when there is much better Christian music focused on a living Holy God. The sad part about it is that parts of the church condem this. The areas that are accepting it are seeing revival.

It’s kind of interesting that the last major revival (the reformation and the revivals that spawned the 400 years or so after it) started with new music, opposition to how the church of the time was run (it’s leaders and the political structure it entailed), and it vastly started with youth and young adults. Martin Luther became a monk around the age of 22, and declared his intolerance of the Roman Catholic church around the age of 34. William Tyndall had his masters degree by the age of 21 and could speak fluently in eight languages (so well that people said it was hard to tell it wasn’t his native language), he was still young at the age of 41 when he died (a maryter).

Okay, thirty minutes later and I’m studying church history. Very interesting. The first Bible every printed in America was in 1663 by John Eliot, which was written in the Native American language. I’ll have a lot of stuff to look at now, this site is packed full of information.

It’s time for bed now …

Love

Ah, tonights been a good night. Church was good — it was meant directly for me. I got home and started listening to a sermon basically centered on what love is. Again, it was exactly what I needed. One of the things said, which I love was this: love is “freely spending your life in the service of another”. That’s how I’m going to try to start modeling my life more …

I’ve got a few other things to do before bed, so I’m off …

Further From Myself

Ok, so it’s been a few days since my last post. I know everyones just dying to know what’s been going on in the wild and exciting life of Justin ….. who just sits at his computer all day. Well, these past few days have been really just to put it lightly, not the best. The past week I’ve felt like a zombie going here and there, just following the motions of everyday’dom, not really doing anything new. Sometimes I just take a step back and see where I wish I was and it sets me back a little. I want so much to be everything God has called me to be, yet it’s like I’m just sitting here idle accomplishing nothing, and when I want to accomplish something I don’t take the initiative and go for it. Life’s not bad, I really have nothing to complain about. Yet and so, there’s this part of me that feels like it’s dying. That’s not what scares me though … what scares me is what if it’s true. I’m not quite sure how to explain it. It’s like a “dry” time, but it’s not dry. It’s like a war but it didn’t just start. I just can’t explain and put to words exactly what’s going through my head right now at the present.

I so much want to be further from myself. However, it seems like sometimes the further I am from myself, the further I am from people. That can be good sometimes. Not all the time though. Something I need to work on is being more optimistic. I’m pessemistic so many times on so many things. I didn’t used to be that way though. I really don’t know why I am now.

Moving on to another topic … Age of Empires III. I downloaded the demo today, and what can I say? It’s the best game I’ve played in quite a while … quite a while. It’s going to be $50 when it comes out though, so that might just deter me from buying it right away. However, the demo made it look extremely well made.

There’s nothing much more to say for the night …

Let Go

The end of another day arives like the start of another. The thoughts have ended, the voices are but memory. The music fades, and the begining of another day is planned. Thus begins this entry.

Today was like any other day I suppose, I ate, I slept, I worshipped, and in my free time I went to school and work. Not bad when you think about it. I took a test in American Government today … no idea how well I did on that one. I guess there’s always “see your results Thursday”. Oh, it did help out in that I got off a little earlier at work today. Getting home before 4:45 is always good.

Falling Up will be in concert on Thursday, September 29th. I’m ready for it! I’ve already bought my tickets and now I’m ready to go to it. It’ll be at a church I’ve never been to, Landmark Church of Christ. The Wedding, John Reuben, and a few other artists will also be there … so it’ll be an awesome night.

My Government book is biased towards the left. It’s sad, like 8 out of 15 pictures were of John Kerry while only like 2 were of Bush. Ironically a lot of that chapter I did this little biased look on were on media. Oh, and Fox News wasn’t even mentioned. I should note: this is the 2006 edition. Now is this just something they forgot? I doubt it. They meant to leave it out. I’ve thought about writing a nice essay about it and sending it to the teacher with whichever essay comes next … but I better not. It might be better to “lay low” on the political scale, keeping my facts to myself.

I ordered the TI-89 Titatium from Amazon the other night … UPS has the delivery estimate as being this Thursday. Purhaps I can get it before class, as we’re having a quiz. We’ll see, we’ll see.

As the door was closing, and the light was fading … consciousness left and the only movement was the slow, steady breathing of life.