Category: Personal

Personal posts to me

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New Features with a New Look

Anyone who regularly reads my blog will notice that I’ve changed to another theme, which looks a lot better if I do say so myself. This new theme is much more flexible. I’ve also added several plugins which will be noticable by some. When reading posts now you can see other topics that may (or may not) relate to the topic your reading. “Related topics” are at the bottom of each topic page (click comment if you’re lost). Another new feature is the subscribe (which was covered yesterday). Some of the other new things are the “About the Author” page and “syndication” on the sidebar. I’ve also added a few more blogs to the blog list (Amber’s Journal, Catherines Blog, and NedNil.com). Also Gravatars are now supported for those who actually leave comments. I guess now is a good time to mention that registration is free — so please leave me some comments.

Now, on to more important things. I guess it’s time for a life lesson, as I will call them. I was reading the news as I always do and came across this lovely new video on how spanking you kids, as done by a researcher, can leave your kids “scared for life” (in my own words). These kids grow up to be more violent, the study (or really I think the guy promoting the study) says. I’ve already alluded to some Biblical truth to discipline, but maybe I wasn’t so narrow on what kind of discipline actually works. In this politically correct — or should what’s correct be called incorrect? — world we live in, we’re told that spankings is some sort of “cruel and unusual punishment” to the child. This is extremly far from the truth. This lie has paved the way into a huge part of a generation that is wicked and won’t do what their parents say, being rebellious. As much as the world would like to say these are “common” for people coming through their teenage years — it’s not (totally). Children need disciplining — physically. What’s the most damaging type of abuse to a child isn’t physicall — it’s verbal. Verbal abuse can leave deep scars (even if they weren’t meant). Spankings, or whippings as we call them, may cause temporary marks, but they leave a lasting impression of what to and not to do. Unless the parent isn’t spaking the child out of love or telling them why their getting spanked, the child will grow up to be a fine young man or woman. This, of course, means that the child also is taught godly principles (which seem to be lacking in many homes today — church attendance is there, but teaching is not). There must be times where BOTH parents are interactive with their kids. And that’s not turning on the TV for a movie every night. This also means that parents, themselves, need to learn how to control their selves — don’t comit adultry (this DOES include lusting; it is adultry), leave your kids, work all the time, cuss, or anything else that kids DO pickup (in other words: all parental habbits that are bad). After being raised in a home where spankings were done, I’m proud to say I was disciplined and learned right from wrong at home.

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Subscriptions and More

So life’s good.

I turned on the news and low and behold they know where Judge Alito stands on “abortion”. So they talk about it for a while, which was something written like 15 years ago, and then they get this woman who essentially says, “We’ve been able to legally kill our babies for the past 40 years, this judge can’t take away our women rights and let us stop this practice!” Now I’ve got to agree with her, they have been murdering their babies for a while. Actually she didn’t actually say that, but hey — that’s what they’re doing, and they do feel it’s a right to do so. Heck, just because my sin nature might like to do things that are not right, that doesn’t make it right. I guess it all goes back to what I’ve been talking about in other entries. Sadly, these women right people still either haven’t done their research or are living in denial too far for me to phatom. Wow … way out there.

The message last night at church was on when to confront things. One of the things that really stuck out that Chris said was that sacrifice isn’t (*gasp*) giving God your sin. Now for some reason I’ve heard all these people always saying (or maybe just alluding to) that giving a sacrifice to God is giving God your sin. So I thought about it for a few minutes, giving God a sacrifice can be pretty much anything. Giving God a habbit, making time for Him, giving God what’s his (10% — and yes, this is Biblical, and don’t try to justify that it’s not for you), or basically anything else. An awesome quote, that kind of fits along these lines, is by Yoda: “Let go of everything you fear to lose”. This is something we must do. We must be willing to give God everything — even things we may fear to lose. We should not be fearful of losing anything.

On the blog I’ve added a plugin that allows anyone to subscribe to this blog. This means that everytime I update the blog those on the subscription list is notified. To be notified click here. Subscribing takes less than 10 seconds … if there is any problems just e-mail me.

Among other things, my cars sunroof is finally fixed. It’s good to have it working. My cruise control, though, has decided to work when it wants to. Sometimes it’ll work fine. Sometimes it won’t set at all. Sometimes when I set it, it keeps increasing speed until it literally forces itself off (it’s not the gradual letting off of the gas). Hopefully it’ll start working right soon.

It’s hard to imagine almost — another year almost come and gone. It seems just like yesterday that I graduated. Time really flys by as you get older. Thanksgiving will be here oh, so soon. Finals will be here soon (although I’m not really thinking much about those yet). While I just turned 19, it seems like it was just a months ago that I was 16 getting my drivers license. Tim posted this picture on his blog:

A picture of the 2005 Christmas countdown ...

Ah, a Christmas countdown, what we always needed.

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Let You In

This week has started out good thus far. Even with six hours of sleep I’m still doing good — couldn’t sleep last night. I’ll probably call tomorrow and get an appointment to schedule for my spring classes. I’ve not idea what I’ll be taking. I’m wondering what adviser I’ll need to go to. I guess I’ll find that out tomorrow when I call them. Oh, church is tomorrow, can’t wait.

I made an “A” on my presentation on Development of Worship Music to the class. I’m happy with it. I need to do good on this last test and the other thing from that class — I’ve not done too well in that class.

My dad sprayed for bugs again. They should be all gone now. I guess bugs is just one of those things you get to enjoy (enjoy?) while you’re in the south. I hate them with a passion, but I guess I’ve grown a little more used to them all.

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Drown Me in Your Love

Last night I went, we all went to Auburn (my cousins and Jenna and her boyfriend). It started out all right with us going to the mall and then getting a bite to eat. When we went out to the theater things went downhill. I had already picked out a movie — which was all right with everyone before we left — but once we got there, Jenna made up her mind she was not going to watch the movie I had picked out. She looked at the board, saw “Prime”, and said she wanted to see that. I was fine with it — as long as she called my mom first. She obviously knew that it would not be a movie my mom would approve of. I then said we could go watch it, but when we got home; my mom WILL know what movie we went and saw. Of course this did not tinker her bells any. So I just got tired of standing there and we all left. That leads me to where the real problem lies…

This night may very well be the last night I go anywhere with any of them for quite some time. The truth of the matter is this: I am not compromising in what I do just for the sake of being liked. Sure, I do not have many friends — and possibly this is why. I would rather have no friends than have only one friend who I compromised everything I stand for with constantly. The last two times I went somewhere with my cousins I’ve had to compromise with them (by going to the parking lot once and “racing” on another occasion) and this time I wasn’t having it. Sure, they may be mad at me, but I would rather them be mad at me than I have to come home and repent of everything I did that night. I am not going to compromise anymore. I am trying so very hard not to judge anyone, but when people that confess to be Christians and then compromise — it does not look good. I do not want to have that kind of guilt and conviction in my life for myself.

There are jokes sometimes that people share and when I do not laugh, I am sure people think I am stuck up. I process things and think of things a lot more often than most people. If the joke is dirty, I am not going to make the person feel good because they know how to tell a dirty joke. If the joke is funny but not dirty or mean spirited, I am fine with it although I may not laugh (as I am probably thinking too hard on it). Sometimes I do not laugh and then turn the joke on them when I act serious about it. That is just another one of the ways that I am different. Being different is so awesome, sometimes it can get you down though if you do not compromise and do what others want you to. Sometimes I feel all alone, but feelings are not truth.

Recently I’ve been reading 1st Samuel (actually I finished it), and found several key fundamentals that either got lost in time, or just have been erased due to “offending people”. One of these fundamentals is that of parents. Eli’s sons were wicked due to lack of discipline (1st Samuel 3:13) he and his entire family died younger than they were supposed to. This is why parents are supposed to discipline their children — if they do not they are sinning. That one sin could cost their sons or daughters’ life, and even more — their own life.

Another interesting thing I found in 1st Samuel is this — although David was running from Saul and feared for his life constantly, David would not put a hand to Saul. His army tried to get him to once and David almost went through with it but only cut off part of his clothing. David had an awesome fear of the Lord. David knew that Saul was God’s anointed King. David feared God so much that he would not even let the person who boasted of killing Saul live. David also killed the men who killed Saul’s remaining son. David had a fear of God. David never spoke a word against Saul. David sung a song upon Saul’s death morning his death! Saul was chasing David, yet David respected him and did not demand his right to King. David knew he was going to become King, but he also knew it was not by his timing but God’s. Today God still has anointed people, some may seem crazy (David acted crazy once), some may be poor, and some may be rich. The truth of the matter is that we must make it a priority not to speak against anyone God has chosen — EVEN if we do not agree with whom it is or how they act. This is something my moms really let me know that even if I may not agree with some people on TV, I need to make it a priority not to say anything against them. I may be speaking against God. I want to have a fear of the Lord that is great like that of King David. Sure, David sinned many times but he always had true, from the depths of his heart, repentance.

Found in1st Samuel 15 verses 22 thru 23 (NLT quoted) is the last point:

What is more pleasing to the LORD: your burnt offerings and sacrifices or your obedience to his voice? Obedience is far better than sacrifice. Listening to him is much better than offering the fat of rams. Rebellion is as bad as the sin of witchcraft, and stubbornness is as bad as worshiping idols.

This scripture is awesome in that God is not as pleased with what we do for him, but rather or not we obey him. Delayed obedience is disobedience. This one act added to the things Saul did against God, which in the end put an end to his family’s line of kings in Israel. Rebellion is as bad as witchcraft. That is a powerful statement. Today witchcraft has been “glamorized” by Hollywood. Sadly, more and more people are trying to justify what they watch on TV just so they do not feel guilty about it. I recently watched “The Notebook”, a well-put together movie. I really enjoyed the story, it showed a mans deep love for his wife. The fact is — that movie was morally offensive. It goes directly against the scripture numerous times. The story was great; the adultery could have been left out. Those parts DID NOT add to the movie, it took away from it. I would have been ashamed if I had taken a girl to such a movie. When we compromise a little thing, it puts just a little foothold for Satan to enter our lives. When it goes outside the realm of just TV and actually committing those sins, you have just reaffirmed that the foothold was firmly planted in your life. I’m tired of people telling me I can do stuff and it’ll be alright when it’s simply trying to get me to compromise my faith to satisfy my flesh.

I have been there; I have listened to the worldly music. I have committed adultery (both physical and mental). I have watched movies that were morally offensive. In all three areas, looking back, I can honestly say that they did NOTHING good for me in the end. They caused pain and hurt. Sure, I can try — and probably could — make a great argument why all of these are all right to do. “I can relate to worldly music”, for instance, is a great excuse for justifying listening to it. “We’re going to get married, so nothings wrong with having sex” is also an awesome excuse. “Oh come on, it’s just a movie, it’s not real”, also a perfect excuse. Now the truth in each is this:
Music: you should not “be able to relate” to having sex outside of marriage, not forgiving your friend for the pain they caused you, or about leaving your husband/wife for some other man/woman.
Adultery: truth of the matter is 99% of those who say this, never end up getting married. They may have a kid or two, but marriage never comes about in the whole ordeal. I have been there (minus the kid) — it does not work out.
Movies: Most people are visual. Mix that with audio and you have two senses being entertained. You only have to see something once that will entertain your mind for decades to come (nudity, for example). There are evil spirits that are seeking souls in theaters, they are the best place to influence people. The moviegoer is not proactive. The one watching the movie is simply sitting there. Horror movies are very good about this. Remember that 2nd Timothy 1:7 (KJV) says, “For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.” Yet that is what horror movies do. They plant a spirit of fear within us.

Justifying sin leads to two sins, which may in turn lead to life without Christ.

I know I have done things against Christ. I am a sinner. I try every day to live for Christ, no matter if I feel like it or not. Sometimes I fail, but that is the time when I have to pick up my cross and just keep following Jesus. I was at a retirement ceremony today for my uncle, and he played a song about the American flag. It made me proud, but it made me think. What if the flag at Fort McHenry had fallen to the British? What if it had fallen? Where would we be today? Our flag had fallen everywhere, but there were men that stood there giving it all they had to keep that flag, at that Fort, flying. That is what we have to do in our relationship with Christ. If the battle around us wages and the oceans roar and we feel like all hope is lost — we must press forward, no matter what. Just like that flag — if we drop our cross, we have to pick it back up. Our thoughts need not own us. Our past must not put us in a rut that cannot be overcome. We have to pick our cross back up and follow Jesus. It will not be easy. It was not easy defending Fort McHenry. When the storm was over, and that flag still stood though it proved that America would not be defeated. Even when the bombs are bursting all around us and we feel like all hope of life has failed, we must stand firm and get back up.

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Keep My Heart

The days seem so much shorter now due to daylight savings time. I wake up automatically thirty to sixty minutes earlier than I need to be up now. Hopefully I can adjust to the new time soon. Why ever this post started off this way I do not know, but oh well.

Important matters. George Bush nominated one of the best judges to replace O’Conner on the Supreme Court. I guess this means the “other side” is wishing they would have shut their traps about Harriet Miers. They can’t say that Samuel Alito is not qualified. Well, they can, but they’d be far wrong; which when have they been far right? Exactly. Also I see the democrats are trying to draw the attention back to themselves with this “secret” meeting they’re having — that not many people really care about. I truely think only the liberal media has fun with these propaganda stunts. That’s another subject in itself, though.

The lies being broadcast on the airwaves by the left are false, and are put out there to lead the people that are NOT engaged in any politics what-so-ever in a mindset that judicial laws will be “taken away” (womens rights, for example). This is ludacris. Anyone believing that crap shouldn’t be allowed to vote. For some reason I’m not sure why I passed all of my U.S. Government classes in High School. I mean, when I read the constitution and all (and I did do so, by the way), I got that the Judicial Branch was supposed to interpret the law. I know it’s not a new admendment, because last time I was in class (today, actually) we still had 27 amendments. Even a new amendment would mean that an entire branch of the government would be taken out and be completely rewritten by an amendment. I highly doubt any states are going to approve of such an amendment. In other words — the judical branch, sorry to say, doesn’t make the law. As much as some senators would like them to, they don’t. Alito will be confirmed, the opponents just need to face the honest facts and accept their defeat.

I wouldn’t doubt that by 2010 abortion is struck down by the courts. At that time it’ll be a matter of doing what was required in the first place — making a law by congress. Needless to say, abortion “rights” activists aren’t too happy now because of the fact they know they’ll never be able to get the support they need for such a law. Period.

In other news, men are not longer the authority in the household. It’s been “thrown out the window ages ago”. Obviously this is one of the lamest and stupidest statements I’ve heard in quite some time. Some woman said the statement in response to why men do not have the right to know if their wife is having an “abortion”. Sadly, she’s not looked at my family and many, MANY other families I know. Nor has she looked at what The Holy Bible says about the issue, as it is completely opposite of the statements she made.

Other items in my life … Pastor Chris is coming over Thursday night. I really can’t wait for church tomorrow night. I missed church at LWWC Sunday night for a service at Saugahatchee honoring the pastor and his family and my granny. The service that night wasn’t too bad though.

Tomorrow is my “oral report”. I hope it’s good and I talk loud enough for everyone. I hate getting up in front of people with a passion. The class is the largest one I have with about 50 people.

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Untitled (1)

Lifes changed a lot over the past week or so. Well, not dramatically, but enough to say it has. I’ve made up my mind about church now. I organized my music last night. That took several hours last night, but it helped clean my iPod up and everything else. Now hopefully I can keep it all organized. I hate disorganization. I quit work (well, not offically yet). I worked on a lot of my project for one of my classes — it’s on “modern worship”, although I kind of changed topic to “The Development of Worship Music”. I’m not exactly sure how it’s going to turn out. It’s an oral report, so I’ve got to present it. Maybe it’ll be good. Maybe.

I went to my aunts on Saturday for a few hours (for a singing). A part of my grade in that music class required that I be at a “concert”, so that’s going to be enough. The Falling Up concert was supposed to be the concert I was doing it on … but it never happened. It was really cool today, probably not over 70 degrees. That’s good, but I was freezing walking to class. I enjoy the colder weather though.

Church last night was awesome. Several people got up and gave their testimonies. Very interesting. It was sad, but very interesting. I love history and esspecially when it involves people that changed history and came to GOD. That’s just awesomeness. The people at church are some of the most awesome people I believe I’ll ever meet. I’m not sure what’s diffrent about them. Maybe it’s because they’ve been broken, and they found God. Joy abounds from these people. It’s awesome.

I was thinking as I was walking from my car in the cold breeze to my class this morning about how maybe I don’t let God speak to me, love me, and all. I want to see God the way these people have saw God. I think it takes most people hitting rock bottom to see how dependant on God they should be. That’s an undeveloped though … I guess what I’m getting at is that I don’t want to be focused on doing stuff that’s just ritual (religion), I want to really seek God with all that I have. I’m thankful for being here in Tallassee, for knowing God, I love God … what I want, I guess, is a stronger — much stronger — relationship.

Tonight I washed my bed clothes and then forgot to put my sheets in the washing machine … so I had to go back and wash just two sheets and a few pairs of sox. That took 30 minutes and wasted water and soap (although I don’t pay for it, I still try to conserve … try to …). I’ve got to go get those and put them on the bed …

12:10am … that means it’s time for bed.

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The Past Meets The Present?

Tonight has been one of those diffrent nights. I was reading my journal (the one my mom wrote) and I found something about friends I had in Italy. There is only one, Amber, whom I keep in contact with today, so I was talking and then I thought about searching for some of my friends back then on one of the websites out there (MySpace turned up to be the best place). I believe I’ve found one of those old friends. I scanned in two pages from my 1993 yearbook so Amber could do some searching … I believe she found someone too. It was a little exciting … even though it sounds lame and boring. I’m a miltary kid — contact with friends come and go. It’s interesting.

I also went on MySpace and did a lot of searching for people (best friends) from my “other high school”, sadly none are on there. There were a lot of people I knew though. That’s where the turning point came. I’ll get into that later, but now …

I’ve searched and I’ve realized a few things: purhaps good, purhaps bad. I’ve realized that today something that’s been known for so long, yet often seems to be overlooked by media, is this: the only, true, freedom is into the arms of Jesus. I remember when I was a kid, and I want to be more like a child almost everyday. When you’re a child your innocent. You’ve got faith in the adults around you. I’ve found that the people here in Tallassee (the teenagers and young adults) “hate it here”. Why is that? It’s because there’s oppression. The problem is that the problem lies with what they’re doing. I’ve saw another school that started getting involved with drugs, and only God knows what else — and the people there hated it.

This is where my turning point is. For so long I’ve blamed, although silently, my parents, sister, and God for sending me here to Tallassee. I’ve judged it — but I judged it before I even saw it. Before I was even a part of it I judged it as somewhere I didn’t want to live. Now I thank God. God has placed me here for a reason. I’m so thankful that God has placed me where he has. I’m glad I moved away from Colorado Springs. When I left there last time, I was saddened — and not only because I was leaving. Sometimes you see things diffrently from the outside looking in. Although, personally, I don’t think I saw it diffrently on the inside. On the outside though — from all the change that took place since I left — I saw stuff I didn’t want to see.

I am going to make every effort to love living here. I am going to make every effort from this point forward to enjoy this city and enjoy the place God has placed me. God has me here for a reason — whether it’s to be to learn a lesson, or be a leader. It’s just up to me whether I learn that lesson or be that leader. It’s been three years. It’s time for a change.