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God is Good!

History. I love History. I love studying History, one of my favorite channels is the History Channel. I watched about two hours worth today at work. One show was about balistics. Very cool how it all works. 🙂 The other was about tanks and Jeeps. Then I had to do a little work, and then it was time to clock out.

He’s (God’s) so freakin’ awesome!!!!!!!! How do you express feelings for someone who’s blessed you beyond what is even imaginable? Can you? Not in all the words of the dictionary is there a word that can describe his awesome, awesome, greatness. There are times I’m just feeling so down and “hopeless”, but those are the times I ultimatly need to put my eyes on the One who can help me. God is Love. The creator of the universe loves me. He’s just so freakin’ awesome!!!!!

There comes a time when we just need to look at his awesome greatness. I do more asking than thanking Him for all he has done for me sometimes. I mean, Christ gave his whole life up for us just because he loved us, what kind of love is that? I mean, I might give my life up for someone I love greatly and someone who loves me back (such selfish love), but would I give my life up for someone that hated me and wanted nothing to do with me? That’s what Christ did for us. That’s what he died, was beaten for. There’s times when I feel like I can do everything, but then there’s other days where I don’t even want to get out of the bed (well, that’s every morning, but you get my drift). There’s a time when life throws this nasty curve and we’ve got to put our complete faith and trust in the ONLY one who can bring us out. *screams* He’s so freakin’ awesome!!!!!

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Short Post

Todays will be short, I think.

Today was a new day (it was?), with new things (eh?), but … fine I stop with the same stuff I say every day.

At work I had to help profile computers. Profiling them is putting them on the domain (chaning the computer name, for instance), and then setting up the users with e-mail (finding their account basically) and getting their calendar in Outlook all setup. It’s easy, takes about 10 to 15 minutes per computer. It may take 30 minutes when you’re into a good part of the movie. Yes, we were watching movies. We watched Scary Movie 3, Wrong Turn, and Bruce Almighty. Were they good? They were decent. Wrong Turn was probably the best, but I hated how much blood and gore was in it. We started watching Any Given Sunday, but after a while I asked the other intern, Cody, what the story really was and he didn’t know … and so I was like, “yeah, every other word is a cuss word”. So we changed to Bruce Almighty. Stupid movie, I’d say. It gave me something to do though.

After I got home I bummed it out. I saw Emma got on and left me a few IM’s at like 12:00 PM today. Too bad I was at work. I looked at hundreds of profiles on MySpace and found … maybe 3 that were interesting to actually read. I think I only found one that didn’t say “Christian – other”, but the bad part about it is … they didn’t act like it in stuff they were saying. *shrug* That’s just how it is I guess. There were a few that I was like woah … awesome people here. I added myself as a friend to a lot of those Christian groups space. Oh, know the sad thing about the “Christian – other” thing is … most probably go to “Protestant” churches. 😛

Anywho, it’s time for me to hit the hay. More profiling ahead for tomorrow. 😀

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We Are Tomorrow

All my people, we’re ’bout to rise up.

It’s the end of a long (long?) Tuesday, 5th of July, 2005. It’s that time of day again, that time when I get on the laptop and write a long, never ending, journal (blog?) entry. Today is no diffrent. It’s time to Rise Up. I’m ready to get out of the regular mundane thinking, and get on to something that’s worth living. It’ll be gone soon. Soon.

Work. Work was diffrent today. I helped distribute (well, sort of) laptops to the incoming students at the AFB, and then I went and rolled up CAT-5 cable into something we can just get out and stick in the new students laptop bags. I get to use a laptop in the room I’m in, so that’s good as I’ll be able to move it around and all, and might can get some privacy from time to time … if I so want it.

I wonder how Emma’s doing. Everytime she gets online I’m not here. 🙁 I hope I can talk to her soon though. 🙂

Character. Character can speak a million words, but might not ever have a word spoken. Character is who you are. Not who you’ve been, who you want to be, or who you hope to be. Character is who you are, now. Know what’s awesome about character? People can say some of the meanest lies about you, but the people who know you will know they’re no more than that: lies. Character tells who you are. People with character doesn’t change day to day; character is firm. It doesn’t sway between opinions, it stands firm.

That’s all I’ve got to say today.

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Tired

I’ve had pretty good day. I’ve been restarting the website I started about six months or so ago, Revolution Reality. I hope to keep it going this time, and I hope it grows into something more than just a basic website.

I watched another movie tonight, this time it was The Bourne Supremacy. I already watched it on the big screen, but it came on Starz so I watched it again. It’s a pretty good movie.

Tomorrow is work. I’m suppose to be moving to the Circle Team, so I might actually be doing something … although I might not. Either way, I’m not complaining. I enjoy working there.

There are so many things on my mind and heart right now it’s almost overwhelming. I have no idea what to say, how to say it, what to do, nor how to do it. It’s like bleh. I’m tired of just sitting here following the flow. There comes a time when I’m just so tired of “ho-hum” and I want to go and just do everything I’m called to do. That’s the problem though: what am I suppose to be doing? I’ve asked God with no reply. Maybe my reply is just following on the path I’m going now. I’ve been listening lately, and it’s like even some Christians are against the God I love. I may be called to be a Jeremiah (as in the Biblical one). There are times I see people and just have compassion for them.

There have been times lately that I don’t know if I even want to go to college for computer science anymore. I believe I am suppose to, as I believe I’m going to be used in that area one day, but I really would like to pursue God and follow Him. I’m so confused as to what I’m suppose to do right now. Really I’ve just realized that as I’ve been writing this. I hope God opens a door for something soon. Right now if God called me to go somewhere, even away from home, I would go. This is the first time I’ve actually had that feeling. I don’t want to leave home, but maybe that’s what God wants me to do. Maybe I’m in the areas I am now so I can step out of certain comfort zones that are keeping me bound. I know I’ve totally had to step out of several comfort zones in the past 3 weeks that just one year ago I thought I never could do.

Right now I’m ready to just run. There’s a song by Nichole Nordeman called What If:

What if you jump?
And just close your eyes?
What if the arms that catch you, catch you by surprise?
What if He’s more than enough?
What if it’s love?

The song isn’t exactly in the context I’m using it, but right now I just want to jump and not even worry about anything. Just jump.

I believe I’m going to listen to something from New Life, and then get in the bed, so I’m out.

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Happy 4th of July

On July 4, 1776, the Declaration of Independence was signed and marked the day of American independence from Great Britain. Since then we’ve had to fight many battles to keep this nation the land of the free. Over 200 years ago our nation was in war, people were dying left and right for the freedom we so enjoy today. Had it not been for many brave men, America as we know it would not be.

On September 13, 1814 our nations national anthem was written by Francis Scott Key. Everytime it is played the hair on my arms perk up. I just can’t comprehend what those people did while the British were attacking Fort McHenry. A guy, Francis Scott Key, who was opposed to the war wrote some of the most powerful lyrics ever written about a nation — in what’s now our nations anthem.

And the rockets’ red glare, the bombs bursting in air,
Gave proof through the night that our flag was still there.
O say, does that star-spangled banner yet wave
O’er the land of the free and the home of the brave?

If that flag had fallen, our nation would have fallen, and all that is today would not be. Our troops, our founding fathers, they deserve all of our respect and admeration this 4th of July. Many, many parents lost their children in the War of 1812 (1812-1814), but they were proud. They fought until they died to create, to protect, to keep this nation from the oppression it had left behind. They fought so we could be free. Our flag still stands — and our flag, our banner, it waves.

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Growing Up

Today’s been diffrent … or has it? There are times when something hits you and you just want to go back to an earlier point in your life. Nothing big has happened. There just comes a point when you think back at an earlier point in your life and think about what ever happened. I miss being a kid, not because I fear growing old, but just for the purpose of being a kid. I remember so many points in my life. I remember when I went with my class to the zoo, way back in Italy. I remember going to my friends house who’s name was David. I remember those things. I remember Amber (which I still can talk to her, but I don’t near enough). I don’t really want to go back, but I wish I could still have some of the relationships with friends that I had then. I remember my friend Brian from Alaska. I remember a girl from 2nd and 3rd grade. I remember a girl I liked for the greater part of 3rd grade — Rachel. Relationships have come hard since about 3rd grade. In Colorado I never really had a best friend the second time I lived there.

Right now I don’t really concider anyone I know my “best friend”. I don’t even know what a best friend is anymore. It’s not that I’m not looking for one, or maybe that’s it: I’m not. Maybe I’m guarded and don’t give people enough to have friends. Is that it? I don’t know. I’m not depressed or anything about it, I just wish I knew answers. I wish I had a best friend, someone that I could call and talk to and go places with when times just aren’t going great … but I don’t. The people I know the most are online and live nowhere near me. I don’t like to be alone. That’s just the way I am. I can’t say why, I don’t know why. That’s why when I go to college, I’m not leaving home.

I’m diffrent. I love being diffrent, but sometimes diffrent hurts. You know people can be so friendly sometimes … but they can be so hateful behind your back. That’s life, sure, but why do people do that? I never, or try to never, talk bad about someone … esspecially if they look at me as a friend, I would never talk about them. I know I probably have a bad outlook on some things. I think negative more than positive, I’m sure I do, but why is that? I don’t mean to. Sometimes it’s like I see people so narrowmindedly. But I don’t mean to. Some guys I just want nothing to do with because of how they treat other people (most notebly their girlfriends). Some I don’t want much to do with because they’re pretty much druggies. The problem is, the guys left … where are they? It’s like I don’t know anyone that don’t do those things. It’s just as hard to find girls the same way it seems like. I don’t know. I just would like a friend that’s focused on God … that lives around here … I know it’s not that much to ask. Anything is possible with God. Where is he? I want friends that are girls too … where are they?

Moving along.

Tonight I watched the movie I recorded last night — 13 Going on 30. The movie was great. I enjoyed it. Of course it was a chick flick and made for girls anyway, but I enjoyed it. It made me think. I think all movies make me think though, so that’s nothing new. lol

I have this headache and wish it would go away. It’s very mild, but very bothersome. It’s also really humid in here and stickey. It feels so nasty.

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New Way To Be Human

Another day in the life of me. Exciting, huh?

Scho … wait, I ain’t in school yet. Work, ah work, was pretty good today. It was so much warmer in there … actually, it was my jacket that we helping keep me warm, but that’s besides the point. The military had the day off today because of the 4th of July things going on, so I had nothing to do — as did the other guys I work with. At about 1:40PM or so, we all being bored, decided to play boxball. If you don’t know what the office game, boxball is, then keep reading. 🙂 You get this box, a Cat 6 network cable box, to be exact, and then set it with the hole upright. Then you get 4 balls that are all diffrent types (like some bounce … and then some don’t — like the hacky sac), you get those balls and try to make the really small hole at the top of the box. I never mad it, but I didn’t play much — I just watched the other 5 to 7 people do it. I think 9 people did it in all or something. Pretty cool. We played it for … oh … about 40 minutes. And then it went back to boredom. But hey, it was 2:20, and that meant 30 more minutes and I was out of there. I got in early, so I left early.

I got home … didn’t do much … we left to go back to Montgomery at around 5:40 or so. The reason? Star Wars was showing on the base theater. It’s cheaper, and hey, what else did I have to do? Exactly. It was just as good the second time … just as sad too, though. I went with my dad and brother, Jonathan.

Tomorrow I’m probably going to Montgomery again to watch War of the Worlds. I’m not sure who I’m going with yet, though. But what’s new there?

It’s July 1st … wait, it’s almost July 2nd … either way, it’s July now. Just 2 days until our fine nations independence day. Before the movie tonight they ran our National Anthem (as it’s an Air Force Base). The hair on my arms always raises when I hear it. I just can’t comprehend what those people did while the British were attacking Fort McHenry. And a guy, Francis Scott Key, who was opposed to the war wrote some of the most powerful lyrics ever written about a nation — in what’s now our nations anthem.

And the rockets’ red glare, the bombs bursting in air,
Gave proof through the night that our flag was still there.
O say, does that star-spangled banner yet wave
O’er the land of the free and the home of the brave?

If that flag had fallen, our nation would have fallen, and all that is today would not be. Our troops, our founding fathers, they deserve are respect and admeration this 4th of July. Parents lost their children then, but they were proud. They fought until they died to create, the protect, to keep this nation from the oppression it left. They fought so we could be free — and our flag, our banner, it waves.

I’m struggling to keep my eyes open, so I think I need to head on bed.