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Keep My Heart

The days seem so much shorter now due to daylight savings time. I wake up automatically thirty to sixty minutes earlier than I need to be up now. Hopefully I can adjust to the new time soon. Why ever this post started off this way I do not know, but oh well.

Important matters. George Bush nominated one of the best judges to replace O’Conner on the Supreme Court. I guess this means the “other side” is wishing they would have shut their traps about Harriet Miers. They can’t say that Samuel Alito is not qualified. Well, they can, but they’d be far wrong; which when have they been far right? Exactly. Also I see the democrats are trying to draw the attention back to themselves with this “secret” meeting they’re having — that not many people really care about. I truely think only the liberal media has fun with these propaganda stunts. That’s another subject in itself, though.

The lies being broadcast on the airwaves by the left are false, and are put out there to lead the people that are NOT engaged in any politics what-so-ever in a mindset that judicial laws will be “taken away” (womens rights, for example). This is ludacris. Anyone believing that crap shouldn’t be allowed to vote. For some reason I’m not sure why I passed all of my U.S. Government classes in High School. I mean, when I read the constitution and all (and I did do so, by the way), I got that the Judicial Branch was supposed to interpret the law. I know it’s not a new admendment, because last time I was in class (today, actually) we still had 27 amendments. Even a new amendment would mean that an entire branch of the government would be taken out and be completely rewritten by an amendment. I highly doubt any states are going to approve of such an amendment. In other words — the judical branch, sorry to say, doesn’t make the law. As much as some senators would like them to, they don’t. Alito will be confirmed, the opponents just need to face the honest facts and accept their defeat.

I wouldn’t doubt that by 2010 abortion is struck down by the courts. At that time it’ll be a matter of doing what was required in the first place — making a law by congress. Needless to say, abortion “rights” activists aren’t too happy now because of the fact they know they’ll never be able to get the support they need for such a law. Period.

In other news, men are not longer the authority in the household. It’s been “thrown out the window ages ago”. Obviously this is one of the lamest and stupidest statements I’ve heard in quite some time. Some woman said the statement in response to why men do not have the right to know if their wife is having an “abortion”. Sadly, she’s not looked at my family and many, MANY other families I know. Nor has she looked at what The Holy Bible says about the issue, as it is completely opposite of the statements she made.

Other items in my life … Pastor Chris is coming over Thursday night. I really can’t wait for church tomorrow night. I missed church at LWWC Sunday night for a service at Saugahatchee honoring the pastor and his family and my granny. The service that night wasn’t too bad though.

Tomorrow is my “oral report”. I hope it’s good and I talk loud enough for everyone. I hate getting up in front of people with a passion. The class is the largest one I have with about 50 people.

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And in Hindsight …

This evening my family went up to the city sponsered “Harvest Festival”. It was alright; of course I didn’t have as much fun as Jonathan, it was still alright. My church had a booth up and so we went to see how things were going … which was going well, of course. I kept my jacket in the car … and with the temperature being — as of now — 45 degrees, that wasn’t the smartest thing I’ve ever done. I was cold (I wore a short sleeve polo). It wasn’t too bad though. The dance team did a few songs, that was good — but they always do pretty good. Of the songs I remember, Mirror by Barlowgirl was the best. I always knew the song had a very good meaning, but I just never looked at it the way they played it out.

Before, or maybe right after the dance team started I found myself thinking back over how when I was in highschool. I’ve been really thinking today about how I’ve judged people. It’s not just one person, it’s everybody. I just have judged them. All I can do is ask for forgiveness. It’s stemed, I’d say, from the whole “I hate this city” concept … but that doesn’t justify my judgement. There’s a sign on a church that says something to the extent of “Rationalising one sin makes two sins”. It’s a deep though, and I’ve been thinking about it. When you try to make one sin “okay” because you rationalised it only makes another sin.

Yesterday my aunt was over and told me that a little computer (internet) place was looking for someone who knew stuff about computers. I’ll probably go up there and see if they’re interested. I’ll see I guess ….

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What? I was never told that!

This past week or so has been good. Didn’t do much … actually I programmed a LOT. I got the Age of Empires 3 game, and then I played it. That’s about it. Church was awesome on Wednesday — talked about what it takes to be a Christian leader today. It was pure discussion, that’s always fun. I’ve been working on another site recently that allows churches to add their sermons/messages online so people can download them. I hope some churches hurry up and apply …

Really though I want to rant. Today I turned on the news for like 30 to 45 minutes and all I heard was stuff about Libby. Personally, I don’t care about that crap. Secondly it sounded to me like it was more of a he said/she said thing than anything. Sounds like there is little to no truth in everything. Just someone trying to accuse someone else of something they didn’t do. I guess we’ll find out — but again, who cares? Why does my money get wasted on something like this?! Very lame. I hope his remarks about it come true though.

Next item … I love history. I learned stuff today about the early colonies and such. Jamestown, the first American colony, was founded in 1607 … in 1611 church became a requirement — by law. Now that’s all well and good … but concidering that before 1611 the colony was doing pretty bad and most had died, that says something. In the years to come it would birth the country known today as America. Oh, and Pocahontas became a Christian and changed her name to Rebecca. For some reason, I never got that part of history in my books.

My old church was on Dateline tonight, it was alright. At least NBC tried to get both sides … I guess. The only thing is so many people stereotype people and church (as a whole) before they go by what they see or have heard on TV. The truth is, when you’re in God’s presense, sometimes you might just do things you wouldn’t “normally” do, and being your first time … they might look weird from the outside. But if you’re on the inside, then you know without a doubt that what you’re seeing and expeirencing is real. No one can tell you diffrently.

Finally, I’ve been thinking … and I realize now that overall people seem to keep certain things as “you don’t discuss” material. The politically incorrect stuff, just keep them to yourself. The problem is, they’ve got to be discussed. That’s a thought I probably need to work more though …

I’m tired, I need some rest.

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Untitled (1)

Lifes changed a lot over the past week or so. Well, not dramatically, but enough to say it has. I’ve made up my mind about church now. I organized my music last night. That took several hours last night, but it helped clean my iPod up and everything else. Now hopefully I can keep it all organized. I hate disorganization. I quit work (well, not offically yet). I worked on a lot of my project for one of my classes — it’s on “modern worship”, although I kind of changed topic to “The Development of Worship Music”. I’m not exactly sure how it’s going to turn out. It’s an oral report, so I’ve got to present it. Maybe it’ll be good. Maybe.

I went to my aunts on Saturday for a few hours (for a singing). A part of my grade in that music class required that I be at a “concert”, so that’s going to be enough. The Falling Up concert was supposed to be the concert I was doing it on … but it never happened. It was really cool today, probably not over 70 degrees. That’s good, but I was freezing walking to class. I enjoy the colder weather though.

Church last night was awesome. Several people got up and gave their testimonies. Very interesting. It was sad, but very interesting. I love history and esspecially when it involves people that changed history and came to GOD. That’s just awesomeness. The people at church are some of the most awesome people I believe I’ll ever meet. I’m not sure what’s diffrent about them. Maybe it’s because they’ve been broken, and they found God. Joy abounds from these people. It’s awesome.

I was thinking as I was walking from my car in the cold breeze to my class this morning about how maybe I don’t let God speak to me, love me, and all. I want to see God the way these people have saw God. I think it takes most people hitting rock bottom to see how dependant on God they should be. That’s an undeveloped though … I guess what I’m getting at is that I don’t want to be focused on doing stuff that’s just ritual (religion), I want to really seek God with all that I have. I’m thankful for being here in Tallassee, for knowing God, I love God … what I want, I guess, is a stronger — much stronger — relationship.

Tonight I washed my bed clothes and then forgot to put my sheets in the washing machine … so I had to go back and wash just two sheets and a few pairs of sox. That took 30 minutes and wasted water and soap (although I don’t pay for it, I still try to conserve … try to …). I’ve got to go get those and put them on the bed …

12:10am … that means it’s time for bed.

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The Past Meets The Present?

Tonight has been one of those diffrent nights. I was reading my journal (the one my mom wrote) and I found something about friends I had in Italy. There is only one, Amber, whom I keep in contact with today, so I was talking and then I thought about searching for some of my friends back then on one of the websites out there (MySpace turned up to be the best place). I believe I’ve found one of those old friends. I scanned in two pages from my 1993 yearbook so Amber could do some searching … I believe she found someone too. It was a little exciting … even though it sounds lame and boring. I’m a miltary kid — contact with friends come and go. It’s interesting.

I also went on MySpace and did a lot of searching for people (best friends) from my “other high school”, sadly none are on there. There were a lot of people I knew though. That’s where the turning point came. I’ll get into that later, but now …

I’ve searched and I’ve realized a few things: purhaps good, purhaps bad. I’ve realized that today something that’s been known for so long, yet often seems to be overlooked by media, is this: the only, true, freedom is into the arms of Jesus. I remember when I was a kid, and I want to be more like a child almost everyday. When you’re a child your innocent. You’ve got faith in the adults around you. I’ve found that the people here in Tallassee (the teenagers and young adults) “hate it here”. Why is that? It’s because there’s oppression. The problem is that the problem lies with what they’re doing. I’ve saw another school that started getting involved with drugs, and only God knows what else — and the people there hated it.

This is where my turning point is. For so long I’ve blamed, although silently, my parents, sister, and God for sending me here to Tallassee. I’ve judged it — but I judged it before I even saw it. Before I was even a part of it I judged it as somewhere I didn’t want to live. Now I thank God. God has placed me here for a reason. I’m so thankful that God has placed me where he has. I’m glad I moved away from Colorado Springs. When I left there last time, I was saddened — and not only because I was leaving. Sometimes you see things diffrently from the outside looking in. Although, personally, I don’t think I saw it diffrently on the inside. On the outside though — from all the change that took place since I left — I saw stuff I didn’t want to see.

I am going to make every effort to love living here. I am going to make every effort from this point forward to enjoy this city and enjoy the place God has placed me. God has me here for a reason — whether it’s to be to learn a lesson, or be a leader. It’s just up to me whether I learn that lesson or be that leader. It’s been three years. It’s time for a change.

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Silence Fills the Air

Alright, so it’s been a full week since my last update … I feel like I’m getting lazy or something. I mean, I used to post updates of my life every day (or so it seemed), but now it’s rare to get one entry a week. I might need to fix that. I like to try to get and keep — or just keep the current — readers. Maybe that’s why I don’t post as much — nothing interesting going on.

This week has been … let me go back, Monday and Tuesday were great. For some reason yesterday just didn’t go how I liked it and so I lost some morale points or whatever. When I got home I ate and then basically just took a nap (and I thought some before and after). When I woke up it was off to math homework. It wasn’t that difficult (yesssss, I got it). It ticked me off for a while because I wasn’t doing it just right. I finally figured it out and was happy. Church was last night. I didn’t go. I had homework, and I was just all wound up. I’m not entirely sure how to explain that one in detail though.

Today was pretty much the same. I watched Without a Trace, which was about a prostitute that went missing. It was a good story. It saddens me how many people degrade women though. Although that’s nothing new. It makes me mad, there’s so many women out there today who think they’ve got to have sex and be disrespected to be accepted. Note, though, that this doesn’t mean I agree with the whole “women’s rights” phenomena that’s popular for some reason now. Females shouldn’t be made to feel they’ve got to work. I, as said, don’t want a wife who works. I know people who stay at home with their kids and wouldn’t trade it for anything. I never want to have a child while my wife is working out of the house. That’s just sad. My mom’s kept a little journal on me over the years, and truth be told half of the stuff in it wouldn’t be in it had my mom been working a full time job. Women aren’t supposed to be the head of the house, it’s the man. I could get on a wild tangent about this, obviously, but I’ve got work early tomorrow.

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A Faith Like That

Over the past four months or so, I’ve sat got on here and basically just shared my life as of the present. There are days I wish I could just write a book about how I’m feeling, and then there are days I don’t really know what to write. Tonight I don’t know where I’ll go with what I write, how boring, lame, or interesting this may be. Anywho … enough of that …

Tonight was foot washing night. This was the first time I ever was involved in such an activity. All I can say afterwards, was that it was awesome. Over the past few weeks I’ve been taught about love, humility, and servanthood among other things. I want to be a servant to all who I see, I want to love people — not for them to love me back, but because I care for them. I want to have a humble heart that isn’t focused on myself or any other thing or being on earth — but for God. God is good, he’s the lover of my soul. He died for me because he loved me, and forever. I am a child of God, I want to have the heart of a baby. I want a faith like that. When your a baby you put all your faith and trust into your parent. You trust, you have faith, that they won’t hurt you. I want a faith like that.

All I can do right now is pray for my generation and the changes that are about to take place, and I’m longing, I’m ready, for it. I’m ready to go to church where EVERY single young person from the city is there with their voices shouting praises to God — and LOUD! I’m ready to see people that are just burning! I’m ready to see the “druggies”, the people involved in sexual sin, and homosexuality in church with their voices raised to God! And the “druggies” are no longer known for their drugs, but for their addiction to God and how they’re so, so diffrent.

Last night I listened to three other parts of the series I started a few days ago that was on Song of Songs. It was awesome. It showed me a lot of stuff about how to love my future wife right, among other things. The series was awesome. God is so awesome about how he put everything into place.

Well, right now I’m really stumbling over words, so I think it’s that time to just go.